


'cause all i want is you up on me

by TheAAngel



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Kissing, Lesbian Sex, Oral Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:28:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24171316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAAngel/pseuds/TheAAngel
Summary: She recognizes the scent, the way the shadow moves so softly it's silent, how she doesn't even say anything to Lisa before pulling her blanket so she can slide underneath and partake on the cozy haven that's Lisa's bed. Jennie makes herself comfortable by turning towards Lisa and shimming closer until her cold feet touch Lisa's legs, who hisses in complaint.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa
Comments: 131
Kudos: 399





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please do not re-post without asking first! at the moment this isn't supposed to be anywhere but here and on a Chinese app, so if you guys see it anywhere else, let me know.

The chilly night air flits in through the half-open window of the room, making shadows dance as the curtain moves under the luminescent moonlight. Lisa ignores it and snuggles deeper into the warmth of her bed, body heavy with exhaustion after a day of incessant movement. The distance from her safe, nice spot and the window is greater than she can surpass, too comfortable to move.

Yet, sleep eludes her. She lays for long, lazy minutes, brain foggy with vaporous thoughts flitting through her head. The steps are so light and soft Lisa doesn't hear them, but her eyes open in response to the sound of her window being closed and locked. There's a slim figure illuminated softly by the silver light filtrated by the curtains standing right beside Lisa's bed.

That would be alarming for most people, Lisa thinks. Not for her. She recognizes the scent, the way the shadow moves so softly it's silent, how she doesn't even say anything to Lisa before pulling her blanket so she can slide underneath and partake on the cozy haven that's Lisa's bed.

Jennie makes herself comfortable by turning towards Lisa and shimming closer until her cold feet touch Lisa's legs, who hisses in complaint.

“Cold.” But Lisa doesn't pull away.

“Sorry.” But her two cold little feet wedge themselves further between Lisa's legs.

A long moment of comfortable silence stretches. Jennie moves closer still and Lisa has to turn her head slightly to avoid breathing directly on her face.

Lisa lazily opens her eyes. She can make out the contours of Jennie's face in the dark, her soft but defined face-shape, even the bulging of her cheeks. When Jennie opens her eyes Lisa can see them as light seems to glitter from within.

“I can't sleep.” The youngest complains.

Jennie hums before answering.

“Me neither.” She lets out a sigh.

“'m so tired, though.” Lisa had a full day today; her usual workout routine, a photoshoot, plus a few hours of dance practice.

“I slept too much during the day.” Jennie's problem is the opposite. She had a nice day off in which she slept in and watched Netflix, but has a hard schedule tomorrow and is now unable to rest for it.

“Lucky you.”

“Always.” Jennie smiles, and at seeing the purity of the expression, so does Lisa.

The subsequent stretch of silence is longer and deeper, as both girls try to fall asleep. But soon Jennie gives up and opens her eyes in the dark. She can make out Lisa's face, softened by tiredness and lack of makeup. It's a face she knows well, has seen most days of her life since what feels like forever. She knows some people interpret Jennie's occasionally prickly way of being towards Lisa as dislike, but it couldn't be further from the truth.

Jennie teases Lisa because she's comfortable in doing so. Because they know each other well enough that she knows the youngest doesn't take it as more than it is, which is simply pigtail pulling. Lisa was the first member to join her in training, before Jisoo, Lisa shared a dorm room with her. She was there for all of Jennie's great moments, and most importantly, she has been here for all of her bad ones.

Like Jisoo and Chaeng, she's a dear, beloved friend. Closer than family. Closer than a sister, Jennie thinks, exactly because she is _not_ her sister.

Lisa without makeup has completely different coloring than with it. Her skin is a golden, light brown, her lips a darker shade of it and her whole complexion follows suit. Jennie knows she's insecure about it, which is one of the reasons why the youngest is the biggest adept at make-up out of all of them. But Jennie thinks it's beautiful, especially because if Lisa weren't Thai, if she weren't the soft brown that she is, she also wouldn't have her doll-like, big eyes; her perfectly drawn, pouty lips; the cute nose that compliments her face so well.

The youngest is beautiful in Jennie's eyes. But that's not even the point, she thinks, because when being honest about it, she finds Jisoo's textbook-perfect proportions even more beautiful. What has Jennie thinking so hard at probably around midnight while she stares at a face almost as familiar as her own, is the fact that there's something more to Lisa's appeal than her admittedly plentiful beauty.

And there's an itch scratching at Jennie. Not an intimate desire per se, as one would expect, even though it has been a long time. But a simple, basic, human craving. The brunette thinks about it, plays with the image it generates in her head for long moments, not for the first time. A cloud in the sky must be moved by the wind because the soft glow of the moon becomes stronger, somehow, illuminating better the girl laying in front of her.

Maybe it is the curve of Lisa's full lips. Or the perfect angle of her nose. Maybe it _is_ how big her eyes are compared to her face; just as big as they can be before being _too_ big, sitting on that nice limit of inspiring a cuteness feeling. Or maybe it's simply the relationship they have developed together. Perhaps Jennie has learned to see Lisa as she does because that's just how they have been with each other, in some subtle, disguised way.

Jisoo's beauty is elegant. Chaeng's beauty is sweet and charming. But Lisa's beauty is lovable and… sensual. It demands an emotional response. Jennie can consciously admit to herself that when she sees Lisa's face, it feels natural to wonder how it would be to kiss her lips. And it has been always like this, since they met as slightly pimply, gangly teenage girls.

This, however, was easy for Jennie to ignore. Having Lisa as a friend is a bit like having a guy as a friend, in more ways than even occasionally having thoughts about how it would be to kiss her. Lisa is very outgoing when she feels safe. She is the one who will always laugh at dumb, crass jokes. The first one to call one of the girls beautiful and behave self-satisfied if they get shy. Even her body language is often a bit more masculine, her swag can be sexy but it's defined by its' hard edge.

Yet, Lisa's soft features are unmistakably feminine. Her skin is perfectly smooth, face hairless except for the downy, invisible hairs everyone has. The curves of her body could not be replicated by 99% of male bodies without surgical or hormonal intervention. Her speaking voice is high and sweet. When she smiles, she is as cute as a plush toy. Whenever she goes, a fragrant smell of fruit, flowers and Lisa follows. No man could ever smell like she does.

Jennie still wants to kiss her.

And Jennie has been trapped, for so long. Since she was young enough she didn't know she was trapped. Kai was a blip in a radar that never saw much else, a fortunate sequence of events that allowed Jennie to try out that thing everybody keeps talking about, that supposedly amazing experience of being with someone. For a short, doomed amount of time.

Jennie doesn't need a relationship, or sex. Not really, she's has been happy for a long time without either. But there's a desire eating at her. It's concretized by the image of Lisa's face, her sumptuous lips which Jennie knows are so soft to the touch.

She's craving connection. And not the type she already has with Lisa and her other members. Jennie misses knowing what someone else's mouth tastes like, the freedom of being aware that she can touch another anywhere, everywhere, and be touched in return.

Lisa lets out a long, soft breath, and Jennie knows she must be just on the edge of falling asleep for real. Jennie shouldn't, but she does before she thinks about it.

“Lisa?” She whispers softly.

The other doesn't respond, but groans under her breath.

“Are you asleep?” She asks unnecessarily. This time, Lisa's only response is a heavier breath. She squirms a bit closer still, until her body touches her and their faces are only inches apart. “Lisa, wake up.”

“Uh… why?” The younger girl responds without opening her eyes.

“I want to ask you something.”

“'kay.”

Jennie takes a deep breath, her heart starts pounding in her chest.

“Can I kiss you?”

Silence. Jennie fears Lisa either didn't hear her or fell asleep again, but is surprised when glittering eyes open, foggy but aware.

“...what?”

“I want to kiss you.” Jennie says, direct and simple. She waits patiently for Lisa's response, trying to not betray how tortuously anxious the wait makes her.

“Why?” Is Lisa's confused answer.

Jennie thinks of what to say.

“Because I want a kiss and you have nice lips.” Somehow, bewilderment is an alluring expression on Lisa's features.

“Oh.”

“Can I?” Jennie presses. She's afraid of rejection, but now that it's a possibility, she's downright excited about it.

“Okay.” Is Lisa's answer, at last.

At that, Jennie crosses the distance in a second, softly touching her lips to Lisa's. They are warm and plump, exactly as she thought they would be, but better. They stay like that for a long moment, Jennie's heart feels as if it's about to climb out of her chest, but she's surprised when Lisa is the one who first moves. Not to pull away, but to deepen the kiss.

Her lips part and a smooth, unsure tongue comes to lick at Jennie's lower lip. She shivers and responds by opening her own mouth and pressing her face closer. With her eyes closed and trapped under the blankets, Jennie's whole world seems to shrink until it's defined by the feeling of Lisa against her.

When their tongues touch, smooth, warm and wet, Jennie groans from the back of her throat. A signal is sent from her brain and there's suddenly hotness in her belly. She clenches her legs together and doesn't stop kissing.

Lisa tastes like the mouthwash she used before bed. She smells dizzyingly nice, and so much like herself that Jennie can not for a second forget the tongue in her mouth is Lisa's, or that the lips she bites down on belong to one of her female best friends. Yet, it's so good, impossibly good. Jennie knew it would be nice or she wouldn't have tried it, but she had no idea it would be like this. Her legs already feel like jelly and she knows there's wetness pooling on her underwear.

It's a completely different experience from kissing a man. When Jennie rests a hand on Lisa's face to keep it close, her skin is as soft and smooth as her own. The array of natural and artificial scents that cling to the other is impressive; shampoo, soap, perfume, make-up, toothpaste and something that is simply Lisa. Every one of them sweet and feminine, Jennie wants to drink it all in. As they kiss, their bodies lean on one another, soft breasts pressing together even through the fabric of their nightshirts. Lisa rests a hand on Jennie's waist and it isn't heavy or demanding in any way.

Tentativeness slowly gives way to excitement as they learn each other's mouths. When Lisa pushes away slightly for a breath, Jennie immediately slides her hand from her face to the nape of her neck and pulls her in again. But the youngest turns her face, putting space between them.

She's breathing hard when she speaks.

“Jennie, what are we doing?”

The brunette swallows and takes a moment to respond, unsettled by how affected she's after a simple kiss.

“We were kissing.”

“Hm, yes. But why?” Lisa's lips already look swollen by the attention. Jennie just wants to bite them.

“I told you. I wanted to. You have nice lips. Why? Did you not like it?”

“I… I liked it.” Is Lisa's response, it sounds as if she can't believe what exactly she's referring to. But kissing Jennie was nice. Incredibly nice, panty-wetting, shudder-producing nice.

It's Lisa's first kiss since she was 14. She barely remembers what kissing feels like anymore, but now she has this moment to remind her.

“So, what's the problem?” Jennie does her best to sound nonchalant. But all she wants is to kiss some more.

“Are we gay?” Lisa's voice is uncertain.

It reminds Jennie that she knows the girl has virtually no romantic or sexual experience at all. During their trainees days Lisa kept so much to herself she never got to experience the occasional escapades she and Jisoo would manage; and even when invited she would say 'no', too afraid of getting into trouble and being sent home. After debut, life has been very public and very demanding for them all, but particularly for Lisa.

“I'm attracted to you, Lisa, and you are a girl. So, I know I am at least a little gay.” She caresses the younger girl's face lovingly, worried that she just caused unnecessary angst for her. “Do you feel attracted to me? Or any other girl?” Jennie's own insecurities threaten to appear, but she does her best to push them aside.

Lisa frowns while she thinks.

“I… I feel like I want to kiss you more.” Jennie lets out a relieved breath. Despite how confused Lisa sounds, the maknae is the one who leans forward again, touching their lips softly.

“You have very nice lips, too.” The compliment is sweet, spoken in between pecks. “I've only kissed one person before you, Jen.”

“I know.” Jennie bites Lisa's plump lower lip. “You're very good at this, anyway. I knew you would be.” They don't talk for long moments as the kiss deepens.

“How did you know?” Lisa asks when she's forced to pull away for a breath.

“Hm… you're always trying to kiss everyone, so I knew you wanted it.” They both smile, Jennie amused and Lisa unapologetic. “But mostly because I wanted to kiss you, and I have great taste.”

Lisa laughs softly.

“You have the best taste.” She means it as a confident joke, but when the double entendre hits, she laughs and pecks Jennie on the lips quickly. “I do like this, unnie. A lot.”

“Me too.”

Lisa hugs Jennie's body to hers. She's warm, both soft and hard in different spots. It's a familiar feeling for Jennie, to be in Lisa's arms. Comforting.

“Does it mean anything?” Lisa asks.

Jennie hums, thinking.

“I think that, for now, it means we get to kiss each other sometimes.” She pauses. “Also, that we are at least a little gay. But I think we had an inkling on that before.” She smirks teasingly, even if Lisa can't see it, Jennie knows she understands what she means. Lisa was always very touchy and playfully naughty.

Poor Rosie takes the brunt of Lisa's aggressive loving most of the time, which thinking of now makes Jennie feel prickly jealousy, even though she isn't sure she wants to be the one whose cheeks Lisa is always pinching.

“Can we do it some more? Now?” Lisa asks, seemingly still insecure about what Jennie wants from her.

The older girl's answer is to grasp at her soft hair and pull her face so close they are breathing each others' air. Jennie teases by staying as such for a few moments, before finally fulfilling her desire and taking Lisa's plump lower lip between her teeth. The younger girl groans in protest when she bites a bit too hard, and Jennie lets go in order to appease the abused flesh with her own tongue. Soon, they are full-on kissing again.

Jennie feels like she could do this for hours. She does her best, but soon Lisa's exhaustion is too great, and while the youngest never pushes her away, her movements become lazier and lazier. With a pinch of regret Jennie finally pulls away and Lisa falls asleep almost instantly, lips swollen from the attention and arms still around her. The brunette knows it's deep slumber when she doesn't stir as Jennie burrows herself in her arms, nose to her neck and arms holding her closer as well. The arousal cooling in between Jennie's legs is bothersome, but she feels like there's not a thing in this world that could bring her down from the high she is on.

Lulled by the rhythmic sound of Lisa's soft breathing on her ear, coupled with the familiar feel and scent of her, Jennie falls into a content sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The shrill sound of Jennie's cellphone alarm succeeds in waking her up on the second try. She blinks slowly, glad for the rested languidness of a good night's sleep. She feels warm and cozy, but notices she isn't in Lisa's arms anymore.

The sound of running water coming from the bathroom reassures her Lisa is nearby. Jennie checks the time and is relieved to know she has a little while before she really needs to move. She should go to her room now and start preparing anyway to make sure she doesn't have to rush out later. But something keeps her rooted to the spot, basking in the morning sunlight filtered through the curtains and breathing in the scent of the comforter, warmth, and Lisa.

The water stops running and Jennie can hear movement in the bathroom. She lies very still and her heart slowly begins an ascent into beating hard in her chest, for a reason she would rather not voice to herself. She tries to keep her mind blank, yet doubt and anticipation threaten to take her over regardless. What if things become irreparably weird? What if Lisa is upset by what happened? What if she doesn't want to ever do it again?

That the last question is the one that spikes Jennie's anxiety the highest is something she puts away in a corner of her brain to mull over later. Truthfully, even she isn't sure how she feels about the kisses she shared with her youngest member the night before. There are warring thoughts inside her head; flashes of a hypothetical future where Lisa and Jennie are exposed and it ruins the career they sacrificed so much for, and the memory of how the moment they shared felt… right.

When Lisa steps out of the bathroom, wrapped in her fuzzy bathrobe and with lanky, wet hair, Jennie is glad to push away those thoughts.

“Hey.” She says, apprehensive.

“Morning.” Lisa gives her a sweet smile, but there are bags under her eyes and her complexion isn't as lively as usual.

Jennie frowns.

“Did you sleep okay?”

Lisa walks towards the dresser and plugs in her hairdryer. She takes a moment to answer.

“I slept okay, but I woke up early.” She doesn't look at Jennie while she speaks.

“Did you have a bad dream?” The older girl knows she suffers from those on a nearly regular basis.

This time Lisa looks back and nods.

“Sleep paralysis, when it was almost morning. I couldn't sleep after.”

“Oh.” Jennie is taken aback by the fact that she slept through Lisa's suffering.

“How are you feeling now?” Jennie tries again, unsure.

Lisa shrugs and answers without looking at her.

“I'm kinda tired, but I'm okay.” Jennie doesn't believe her. Lisa is clearly exhausted and somewhat distant, which is not at all a natural state for her.

The brunette is distracted from her increasingly maudlin thoughts by a furry body rubbing against her leg. She pets Leo on the head gratefully and can spy Luca lounging nearby on top of Lisa's red mini-fridge. She doesn't notice she's about to cry until her eyes get cloudy. Jennie is aware she shouldn't make conclusions from the brief interaction they had just now; they are both raw and Lisa is not well. But in her pajamas, sitting in Lisa's bed in the morning with no make-up, bed hair, and the secret of her desire exposed, she is vulnerable.

And Lisa goes on drying her hair, not speaking, not looking at Jennie, for long, torturous minutes.

At last, she hears the hairdryer switch off, but doesn't look up. Not until she notices on the corner of her eyes that Lisa is moving. The youngest sits on the bed, near Jennie. She pets Leo as well, and the oldest takes a moment to swallow down the tears that threaten to fall before looking up.

“I'm sorry.” She says.

Lisa frowns. “For what?”

“For kissing you last night. I shouldn't have done it. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable.” Jennie does her best to close off her expression. But her eyes burn and she feels like she can't swallow through the knot in her throat.

Lisa surprises her by scooting closer and wrapping long arms around her. Jennie rests her head on Lisa's shoulder and can't hold back anymore, she cries.

“Don't...If you cry, I'm going to cry too.” Lisa states, already tearing up as well. “I'm just, I… I'm worried, about so much. Mostly about you. But I kissed you just as much as you kissed me.” She says in her ear, and Jennie squeezes her closer in response.

“I'm sorry. I was lonely and didn't think. Now it's all complicated and weird.” Jennie says.

Lisa pulls back to look her in the eyes, and as she warned, is crying as well. Her hands hold Jennie's face as she speaks, tentative.

“I won't make it weird if you don't.” Lisa promises. “It seemed simple yesterday, right? This doesn't mean anything other than the fact that we are both a little gay, uh?” Lisa consoles, a smile on her lips even as tears glitter a path down her cheeks.

Jennie smiles back, grateful for Lisa's unending optimism.

“I might be more than a little gay.” The confession is said with no conscious thought, but the second the words are out Jennie is hit by how true it is. “I've… been with men, more than a few times. It was nothing like… nothing like yesterday with you.” Her voice is small, but Lisa hangs on her every word. A new wave of tears come at the revelation.

Lisa groans in protest. “Don't cry, Jennie-a. I'm going to keep crying with you until you stop.”

That manages to force a smile out of her. Lisa responds by sliding her arms around the other and pulling her so close they touch from knees to shoulders, side-by-side. The youngest slides a warm hand to hold Jennie's face and leans in. The feel of Lisa's lips on her cheek is very soft.

The usual script dictates Jennie should react with some sort of aversion, but after exchanging her saliva with Lisa's the night before, the point seems moot. She basks in the contact, instead, pliable in the other's arms.

Lisa kisses Jennie's cheek again and again, softly, breathing her in, and each time closer to her mouth. So when the youngest does put her lips against hers, it's no surprise. Jennie responds by turning her head towards Lisa to facilitate the contact, compelled to do so like a sunflower has the impetus to turn towards the sun.

However, Lisa pulls away not a moment later. In the lines between her eyebrows and the tightness around her eyes Jennie can read worry and insecurity.

“Is this okay?” Her voice is tentative.

Jennie's answer is to rest a heavy hand on the back of her neck and pull her in for a deeper, longer kiss. Lisa responds every tiny movement of her, the most infinitesimal tilt of her head, the inquiring nip she takes at her lower lip, like they have been doing this for years. It's addictive, Jennie thinks. She wouldn't have said she had bad experiences before, on the contrary. But they all pale so much in comparison to this, they might as well never have happened.

“It's more than okay, Lisa.” She verbally responds, at last, pulling back just enough to speak. “And that's… scary.”

“I'm sorry.” Lisa spreads kisses on Jennie's face again, in an attempt to console her. “If you want to stop, I can stop. If you don't… I like this too, Jennie. Being with you.”

And she does. Lack of experience isn't enough to impede Lisa from realizing how high the intensity of the feelings that go through her at Jennie's touch is. It's overwhelming how good it feels, not only because of how new it is, but also from its' all-encompassing nature.

Lisa is not a little girl anymore, she has felt attraction, arousal, has explored the valleys of her own body enough to know how it feels pleasure. Yet, the warmth on her skin as it slides against Jennie's is like nothing she felt before; fire that burns without hurting. The tightness at her core from the arousal of simply kissing is strong enough Lisa knows she could bring herself to a peak with no more than a few touches.

“Kiss me again.” Jennie commands, and Lisa couldn't be happier to comply.

She leans in and is met halfway, her hunger mirrored in the oldest. Lisa becomes aware of how vulnerable she is, out of her shower wearing only her favorite, yellow bathrobe, when she feels the knot become loser simply from their bodies rubbing together. Inevitably, it's undone, falling open and revealing her lack of foresight. Lisa feels her cheeks burn when Jennie pulls away and looks down at her exposed breasts, pert from the cold air and the arousal. Yet, Lisa stays still and doesn't cover herself.

Her heart is beating so hard it feels like it's trying to climb out of her chest, but a part of Lisa rejoices at being exposed, and most of all at the expression that comes over Jennie's face when she looks.

It's not the first time she has seen Lisa semi-naked. Quick backstage changes at shows, photo-shoots, and simply living together have made sure all of the members have seen each other in different states of undress repeatedly throughout the years. Somehow, this is different, and Jennie would be hard-pressed to explain why or how. It just is, and now the sight of Lisa's small, round breasts and light brown nipples makes warmth poll in her belly.

But this is new for the both of them, and while there is something primal urging at Jennie, all she does at the moment is lean down to spread kisses on Lisa's smooth collarbone. When the youngest responds with a moan, a full-fledged, sensual-sounding, pleasured moan, her response is visceral, she shivers.

Jennie kisses up Lisa's neck until she arrives at her mouth again. The heat polling in her underwear is scorching and so, so good. The world has fallen away and nothing else matters.

Then, a familiar sound startles the girls from their enjoyment. Jennie's cellphone is ringing its' last alarm, the one listed with the name 'now you really, really need to move'. It comes in the form of the loudest, most annoying ringtone she could find.

The brunette pulls away disappointed.

Lisa laughs.

“I love that you have 'Kill This Love' as your alarm.”

Jennie feels so hot and frustrated she could burst. It's hard to believe how many intense emotions they both went through in less than an hour this morning. But she finds that now, despite all the tragedy and doom that can come from whatever this is she has with Lisa, she wants to see where it goes.

“Well, it never fails to wake me up.” She smiles. Then pecks Lisa on the lips one last time, snatches her cellphone, and goes bounding out of the room, knowing she's really cutting it close that if she allows herself one second more, she is never going to leave.

Lisa stays seated on her bed, still, long after Jennie is gone. She doesn't have to be anywhere else any time soon, and so allows herself to sit and not think about much of anything, trying to process all that happened in the last 10 hours – it feels like a whole life.

At last, she gets up and locks her door. The wave of arousal she experienced left an uncomfortably wet feeling between her legs and a yearning like an itch she can't scratch. So, after allowing her bathrobe to fall on the floor, she lays again on her bed. With thoughts of what just happened, of Jennie's body against hers and her mouth on her skin, Lisa closes her eyes and lets herself feel.


	3. Chapter 3

Lisa quickly learns how terrible she is at subtlety.

The softest sound of steps in the dorms makes her look up and around, in search. Whenever a certain girl with beautiful cat-like eyes and cute cheeks is within eyesight, Lisa's vision helplessly follows her. Anticipation threatens to choke the youngest member with the end of each day, knowing Jennie will pay her a visit, or ask her to.

If her mother could see her, she would say Lisa has a crush. And though the word implies a negative feeling, she can't deny whatever she's experiencing is so strong it feels crushing at times. Like all air is sucked from the room whenever Jennie is there as well. Like the only time she feels at peace is when they are together, touching, kissing.

She had no idea she could be like this, feel this much. Lisa always thought of herself as one of those cool girls who never fall in love, or when they do, it's with measured, controlled intensity. So stupid, she now knows. Of course Lisa would be the type to fall hard, fast and thoroughly. The type to throw themselves as if from a bridge, hoping there's a rope wrapped around to stop the fall, but knowing there isn't.

The intensity with which she feels most things should have been fair warning. When Lisa is happy, she's elated. When she's sad, she's devastated. When Lisa loves someone, be them friends, family or her cats, she _loves_ them, with her whole body and soul.

She knows she loved Jennie already, before all of this. Lisa doesn't know what she should name whatever she's feeling now.

“Lisa-ya!” Chaeng startles her from her thoughts, calling her name with a distinct tone of irritation.

“What?” Lisa tears her eyes away from the movie she has barely been watching with Chaeng, so consumed she is with thoughts of Jennie.

“I called your name five times! What are you dreaming about?” The blonde asks, more curious than bothered.

“Nothing. My brain just learned to ignore your voice, it's so annoying.” She smiles at the indignant face of her friend. “What is it?”

“I'm hungry.” She complains with a pout.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Lisa shrugs.

“Lisa! Don't be like that! Let's go out for dinner.”

Normally, Lisa would be all in for such a plan. But she has been anxiously glancing at the time, knowing Jennie and Jisoo will be back from their own work soon.

“Shouldn't we wait for the others?” She asks Chaeng.

“They will probably eat by themselves too, and we don't know when they will be back.” The other reasons.

“But I kind of want to wait for them.” Lisa whines a little, though she would deny if asked.

“Lisa, I'm hungry, and we can't go all four of us out to eat either way.” She grabs Lisa's hand and gives her a pleading look. As always, it has a powerful effect on her friend. But now it has competition in the form of Lisa's anxious anticipation of Jennie's presence. Which is why she risks life and limb by insisting:

“We could call manager oppa to go with us.” She states hopefully.

“Lalisa, if you don't go out to eat with me right now, I will- I will...”

“You will what, Chaeng? Annoy me to death?”

“Lisa! Why are you so mean to me today?” She complains, face scrunching up in mock sadness.

Lisa laughs and throws an arm around her shoulders, bringing a hand up to pinch her bunching cheeks.

“Awn, my baby Rosie. I'm sorry, let's go out.” She caves at last, and squeezes Chaeng's cheeks until her hands are slapped away by her friend, who glares at her in affectionate exasperation.

In 20 minutes, they are inconspicuously dressed and ready to go. Lisa hopes against hope that Jennie and Jisoo are back before they leave, but even as she dawdles by the entrance long enough to get Chaeng yelling at her again, she has no such luck.

Alas, as they walk down a street in Hongdae, protected by the anonymity of a big city where no one ever looks at a strangers' face and searching for a nice place to eat, Chaeng turns to Lisa with a serious expression and asks.

“You have been super distracted lately, Lisa. Is something going on?”

Despite how playful they are most of the time, Lisa knows her friend is a great listener and can keep her secrets better than anyone. And in the last week since she and Jennie first kissed, she has been often, terribly, conspicuously distracted.

It should be easy to share what is happening with her friend; she has so many times before, from the smallest events to the biggest, Chaeng has heard them all.

But ice-cold fear grips her heart at the thought of confessing her feelings for Jennie. Of saying she kissed her, touched her intimately, that the desire to do so again is so strong Lisa feels like she's drowning in it.

Even confessing an attraction to females has her guts squirming in hesitance; contrary to Jennie, Lisa isn't sure she is completely gay. She has felt plenty of attraction for males before, and the only girl she has ever consciously lusted for is Jennie herself. But if she gets technical about it, she's at the very least bisexual.

It's a strange thought, that Lisa tries to push away. She has pictured herself telling her mom before, “I like girls”, and it felt like she would be more comfortable seriously saying “my aspiration in life is to be a full-body-pillow” instead.

Lisa doesn't like how homophobic it seems; she never looked differently at anyone for them being gay, never thought any less of them. But she must be, at least a little, because admitting it to herself is hard, and the thought of saying it to someone else is… shameful. All, which in turn wrack her with stinging guilt, for she doesn't want to feel like she does – and she doesn't mean her attraction to Jennie, but the fear of owning it.

“See? There you are, all distracted again.” Chaeng admonishes softly, sounding worried.

“Sorry. Yes, there's something… going on. But I'm not sure I want to talk about it.” Lisa reveals, unwilling to lie to her best friend.

“Ha! I knew it. You've been so weird Lisa, Jisoo complained to me about it yesterday, you know?” Chaeng teases. “You can tell me anything, okay? I don't judge.” She finishes, now serious.

Lisa has to smile at her.

“You really shouldn't judge. 'Cause if I judged all your weirdness you would be convicted to life in prison, you know.” She jokes.

This time, the blonde girl restrains further response than an amused eye-roll.

“I'm serious though, if you don't wanna talk about it, that's okay, but I'm here for you, always.” She laces their arms together, bringing Lisa closer.

“I know, thanks. You too, you know.” And that's that. Which is something she loves in her friend; she doesn't press.

* * *

Jennie isn't sure what she was expecting to find when she got home. The sight that welcomes her is one she has seen many times before; Lisa and Rosie sprawled in front of the TV, covered in blankets, snuggled together as they watch most likely a silly cartoon.

She has been looking forward to some time with Lisa the whole day, like an itch on that spot on her back she can't reach, it has poked at her, reminding Jennie of the younger girl and the pleasure she can expect in her arms. So, why the first thing she feels as she sees her – with their blonde member wrapped around her like a tick – is displeasure, Jennie has no idea.

That is, until Lisa hears her and Jisoo coming in and looks up at her eagerly, brown eyes widening along with her lips, forming a blinding smile as she immediately untangles herself from the blankets and an annoyed Chaeng – who had been lightly dozing before being rudely disturbed – to bounce towards the older girls in enthusiastic steps. Then, the displeasure is replaced by a warm, sweet feeling.

And so, Jennie realizes. She got jealous of Lisa. With no one other than Chaeng. She would roll her eyes at herself if it wouldn't make her look like a crazy person. She's aware of Jisoo by her side, divested of her coat but still standing there.

“Hi.” Lisa greets her, face open and earnest with her happiness at seeing Jennie. Despite all the coolness she can muster – which is no small amount – Jennie blushes under such adoration.

No one ever looked at her like that. No one who actually knows her, at least. It catches her off-guard every time, and as adept as Jennie can be at hiding what she feels when she has to, she can't. Not under a gaze like that.

She smiles back.

“Hi, Lisa.” She feels the urge to peck the other girl on the lips like an old couple. The simple sight of her is enough to make Jennie feel warm these days, chest swelling with something intense that threatens to crash through her like a tsunami. It's scary, but so, so good.

They stand there, staring at each other like two half-wits, until Jisoo makes herself known.

“I'm here too, you know. Just arrived. Why is no one saying 'hi' to me, uh?” Jisoo complains to Lisa, startling both her and Jennie.

Lisa's smile softens for Jisoo, acquiring an amused edge. The instant difference makes Jennie feel even warmer.

“Hi, Chichu. Did you guys eat already? Rosie threatened me with bodily harm so I had to go out with her to eat, but I can go with you too.”

“Hey!” Chaeng protests half-halfheartedly.

“We had chicken.” Jisoo answers with no small amount of satisfaction. “They ordered it at the shoot.”

“Nice.” Lisa obediently answers. Jisoo and chicken have a sacred relationship.

Jennie tries not to pay too much attention to Lisa hovering around her as she puts her things away and makes herself comfortable. It doesn't help that Jisoo also follows her around the house, going on about their schedule for the next day, which is again shared. Their oldest member is a hawk, she sees all and notices all, so it's with painful necessity that Jennie restrains herself from touching Lisa, or even looking at her more than usual.

The younger girl following her around is a relatively normal occurrence. But Jennie giving her the time of the day is not. It has never been for a bad reason, really – Lisa can be so enthusiastic, a well of endless bright energy that rarely seems to be sapped. And Jennie is just not like that. She remembers seeing a fan art once, that Rosie sent in their group, of each member as an animal. She was a chipmunk – of course – Jisoo a turtle-rabbit, Lisa was a puppy and Jennie was a cat.

Though it of course isn't completely accurate, it reflects well what Jennie generally thinks of hers and Lisa's personalities. The younger girl is open, earnest, excited and affectionate like a puppy. Jennie is needy and affectionate, but in a more contained way that is always in her own terms, and she relishes in that.

Also, the fact that Jennie has two very spoiled and beloved dogs – despite her cat-like personality – and Lisa, on the opposite side, has two snotty cats who are just as loved and spoiled, seems to complete the metaphor nicely.

Jennie tries to ignore how childish that line of thought is as she answers Jisoo with half her attention. She and Lisa are perfect for each other because they have cat and dog personalities and like those animals in turn. So silly; yet, she has been plagued by thoughts like these often the last few days.

“Be ready at eight! Or I'm leaving you behind, Jendeuk.” Jisoo states in seriousness. Jennie can't help but take the last chance to hug her unnie before she escapes to her room to play games.

“Okay.” She is hugged back warmly, Jisoo's hand rubbing her back. “See you tomorrow Chichu.” Jennie pouts at her, planting a kiss on her cheek to which Jisoo doesn't even bother to pretend affront.

The instant Jisoo manages to untangle herself from Jennie, Lisa tackles her in a purposefully annoying, intense full-body-hug.

“Good night my little turtle-rabbit. So pretty.” She kisses the oldest girl's face repeatedly, arms holding her close by force as Jisoo tries to escape.

“Lisa! I can't breathe!” The girl complains, – though not with full sincerity, or Lisa would release her – but only after Lisa is satisfied with the number of kisses given, she lets go.

Jennie shouldn't be so relieved she feels no pang of jealousy at the very physical sight, but she is. It helps that Jisoo's neck, where Lisa held her in place, looks a bit red when she finally is set free, and she knows Lisa's grasp was genuinely tight.

The youngest girl has never treated Jennie to the same particular kind of aggressive loving she displays with Jisoo and Chaeng. She's thankful for that. Oh, Lisa has attacked her with overbearing affection plenty of times before, since as soon as they could call each other 'friends', but she has always had a more careful version of it for Jennie only.

At last, with all warnings, hugs and kisses necessary given and received, Jisoo bids them good night and leaves towards her room.

“I should check on Chaeng.” Lisa says and quickly escapes from the room, allowing Jennie a moment to breathe out and let herself relax.

She's out barely a minute before she materializes back. She steps into the room and carefully presses Jennie's door closed, some tentativeness in her actions. As if they haven't had their tongues down each other's throats every night for the past week.

“She's passed out in the living room.” Lisa explains as she stands in front of Jennie, who is now sitting on the edge of her bed.

There's a moment suspended in time, one in which Lisa fidgets and Jennie watches her, but it's soon broken when the older girl speaks.

“Come here, Lisa.”

She doesn't need to be told twice. Like the good girl that she is, Lisa quickly steps closer until she can sit right beside Jennie. They study each others' faces for a long moment.

Jennie thinks Lisa looks rested and happy. She had a day-off with Chaeng and surely a lot of fun with the girl. Jennie wishes she would get a day off with only Lisa, but that's far in the future for now.

“I missed you.” Lisa tells her sweetly, leaning in to peck her on the lips exactly the way Jennie had the urge to do as soon as she saw her.

“I missed you too, Lili.” Jennie answers with as much sweetness, leaning in for a second, third and fourth peck that eventually morph into a real kiss.

They have established a sort of routine by now. Not a routine, actually, a ritual – for what they do together feels nothing short of sacred. They kiss slowly and sweetly until it warms both of them enough that it's not as slow or sweet anymore. Then, if they are not already there, they drag themselves under the covers, where they proceed to spends sometimes hours doing nothing but kissing and touching each others' skin.

There has been no full-blown sex yet. Surprisingly, the exploration they did at the very beginning of whatever they have together was the most daring they have been so far. It's for no lack of desire, Jennie knows. Though the particular reason is difficult to grasp. Jennie feels an insecurity from Lisa, and though she has her own anxieties about the situation, she wants to respect the other's pace.

They should talk about this, like the adults they are. But they find themselves much too busy with other activities whenever alone together.

“Lisa...” Jennie breathes out her name between kisses. “I worked all day, I need a shower.” She says regretfully.

Lisa moans in protests and leans in for another kiss.

“You smell amazing.” Her voice is breathy and clearly aroused; it drives a shiver down Jennie's spine.

“But I'm gross.” Jennie pouts.

“You could never be gross, my Nini.” Lisa coos at her and spreads loving kisses on her face as if to prove her point. “I don't want to be away from you.” She goes on in complaint.

Jennie's heart starts going at a double pace when an idea comes to mind, one to solve their dilemma, to help push them forward. She regretfully pulls away from Lisa so she can see her face when she speaks.

“You can shower with me, if you want.” The words are seductive, but Jennie is aware her delivery is nothing if not insecure. She pretends non-nonchalance and fails at it.

Lisa stares at her, mouth half-open in surprise. But she's not appaled, of course she isn't. If Jennie were a bit more confident, she could laugh at the younger girls' expression.

“Yes.” Jennie expected Lisa to fumble with her response, but it's decisive when it comes.

“I also have a bathtub, you know. We could try that too.” The older girl offers.

“I-I don't know if I could take the bathtub now, Jen.” Lisa says with sincerity. “My heart isn't strong enough.”

Jennie smiles. Then she kisses Lisa one last time and stands up. Before she can finish losing her quickly-fleeing nerve; she walks towards the bathroom, already pulling her clothes off.

“You coming?” She asks, with way more courage than she actually feels.

Lisa follows her into the bathroom, but doesn't immediately start undressing. She's in pajamas, probably has already showered today, so she doesn't have many layers to divest. Noticing the insecure way she changes her body-weight from foot to foot and doesn't do much else, Jennie turns to her and starts unbuttoning Lisa's pajama shirt for her.

“You don't need to, if you don't want to.” Jennie needs to make sure Lisa knows it.

The younger girl nods.

“I-I want to, Jennie.” As if to prove it, she starts helping Jennie out of her clothes herself. The older girl pretends not to see how her hands tremble and fumble with the buttons.

Jennie makes headway with Lisa's clothes faster than the contrary; and the younger girl is standing with pebbled nipples exposed to the air before Jennie's shirt is even half-way unbuttoned. She tries not to stare at Lisa's body, thinking it may make her uncomfortable, but it's a Herculean task. The younger girl is simply gorgeous, her curves, the smooth expanse of her skin, her small, perfect breasts.

Jennie is hit by the desire to kiss Lisa all over, to lick all of her crevices and spread bites down the elegant curve of her neck. She waits for the younger girl to finish her shirt before she coaxes Lisa out of her pants, leaving her only in simple, lacy blue panties.

Trying not to feel exposed herself, she assists with her bra, unhooking it and letting it fall away to revel her to Lisa, who doesn't seem to have the same compunction Jennie does, and stares openly. Her skin feels as if on fire in the wake of the other girl's touch; when she unbuttons her jeans and pushes them down, Jennie feels as if she might combust. She's sure the wetness on her underwear must be visible.

Not wanting to push too far too soon, Jennie turns on the shower and leads Lisa inside the cubicle, both still wearing their underwear.

“I will do your hair first.” Lisa quickly offers, and Jennie presents no resistance. The feeling of the younger girl shampooing her hair, nails carefully scratching against her scalp, is pure bliss after a long day of work.

After her hair has been thoroughly washed twice and properly conditioned, Jennie returns the favor to Lisa. It's a perfect moment, they share the intimacy of showering together and use the opportunity to become more comfortable with their bodies exposed to each other, with no particular pressure for anything more. The way the cubicle is big in comparison to average, but still small for two people, forces Jennie and Lisa to be in constant contact. At any one time, a bare expanse of skin is touching another.

Lisa has her back to her, under the shower spray so the shampoo can be washed away, when Jennie can't resist her appeal any longer and leans forward, hugging her. The girl goes still, but soon relaxes in her arms, which are crossed around her waist. Jennie tries not to think too much about the feeling of her breasts against Lisa's skin, or the younger girl's firm, round butt rubbing against her pelvis.

Her pussy positively throbs between her legs. Jennie is sure she has never been more turned on in her life. She lands soft, peppering kisses on Lisa's back, her hand finding the other's bellybutton and teasingly circling it. Lisa remains relaxed, and Jennie is surprised when her hand covers hers, directing it downward.

Heart beating in her chest, Jennie slowly slides her hand down, until she can feel the soaked fabric of Lisa's panties, then more, until she's cupping Lisa's sex over it, an action which the girl answers with a full-body shudder.

“Jennie...” She sounds pleading, and Jennie imagines her core must be burning much like her own is, so she rubs her over her panties. But they slide easily to the side, soggy with water, and Jennie's warm, pruning fingers are touching Lisa's most intimate place directly, for the first time.

Why her own pussy clamps in pleasure at the touch, Jennie couldn't explain. The urge to bite Lisa in punishment comes, and she doesn't resist it, sinking her teeth in the soft skin of her shoulder. The younger girl goes very still in her arms in response, giving Jennie the strangest satisfaction of making Lisa submit, remain willingly under her power.

Curious fingers explore the slick warmth between Lisa's legs, which when Jennie decides are not open enough to her liking, she pushes apart with her own. She easily finds the nub of her clitoris, familiar with the feeling of it in herself, and delights in making Lisa squirm when she worries at it. By the time Lisa is panting, Jennie gives her some reprieve by exploring lower, until her fingers find the opening to her body.

She kisses Lisa's back softly and penetrates her with one finger, then two. She feels tight, but is so slick Jennie's fingers slide in easily.

“Je-Jennie, please.” The younger girl begs, and so Jennie brings her other hand down, so she can rub Lisa's clit at the same time she pumps her fingers in and out of her.

Jennie always got some measure of pleasure out of touching the few men she bedded in her life. It felt nice to give them pleasure, to run her hands over their skin, to masturbate their sex. But in no way it felt like this. There are no pleasure receptors in her fingers like in a male penis, she's aware, yet, every clench of Lisa's sex drives a spike of pleasure to her own brain. And she feels as if this can be enough for satisfaction, the heat in her burning so hot it must surely be possible for her to come from simply touching Lisa.

She figures this is what being a lesbian means. Delighting in touching another woman. How strange that it is a surprising discovery for her.

Lisa is moaning, probably louder than she should, one hand on the wall for support and the other clutching Jennie's arm. She decides Lisa can take it, and adds a third finger to her assault, which the girl in her arms answers with the prettiest sound, high in her throat, but doesn't protest.

Jennie's wrist and fingers are stiff and uncomfortable by the time Lisa reaches her peak, though she barely pays that any mind. Lisa comes with powerful contractions in her core, which make it an unmistakable event, and even louder mewling moans that sound both pleasured and pained. Jennie mercilessly fucks her through it, stopping only when Lisa finally squirms away from sensitiveness.

Like a film had fallen over her eyes, Jennie seems to blink herself awake as soon as her fingers are inside Lisa no longer. She has just enough time to marvel at all the red marks she left on the other's back, before she turns towards her.

Lisa's blissed-out expression is beautiful, sensual and satisfying. Jennie has no choice but to kiss her until they are both breathless.

“I want to touch you too.” Lisa is the first to speak.

“You don't have to, if you don't want to.” Jennie reassures her, and though the fire burning in her has not been abated in the slightest, it's true.

“Oh, I want to.” Lisa kisses her, wet and dirty, tongue licking inside her mouth. “But I want to do it on the bed.”

In record time, they spread soap over their bodies, rinse, then step out of the shower, where Jennie has no longer any compunction about pulling her own soaked underwear off. She watches in relief when Lisa does the same, only a shadow of redness on her cheeks.

The younger girl dries herself in record time, and Jennie understands why when she turns to her with hopeful eyes and asks.

“Can I dry you?”

She nods and Lisa is on her in a second. She pays every inch of her skin unmatched care, rubbing her dry softly but thoroughly, nothing short of reverence reveled by her gleaming, attentive eyes and focused expression. When she's done, Lisa takes her by the hand and leads her to the room, pushing her carefully towards the bed, as if she may break if more force is applied.

Jennie lays back obediently and is surprised when Lisa gathers the pillows and positions two under her head, then one under the small of her back.

“I've been reading about... you know.” The younger girl offers in explanation, not nearly as much embarrassment in her expression as Jennie would expect.

“I don't think I know, Lisa.” Jennie teases. “You will have to show me.”

“I will.” Lisa smiles. Then, she joins the older girl on the bed, wiggling on her knees until she's positioned between Jennie's legs. With an impossible amount of care, Lisa rests her hands on Jennie's thighs and pushes them apart.

She blushes, feeling exposed. The light in the room is on, bright enough that Jennie knows there's nothing that can be hidden. But the look in Lisa's face is one of awe, so pure and honest in makes Jennie push aside her shyness and allow the moment to happen. With her splayed open, Lisa can slide even closer, until the drying fur between both of their legs is rubbing together.

She leans down and they kiss. Lazy, intimate, slow and exploring, they allow it to last as long as it needs, and Jennie relaxes more and more until she barely notices that she is moving her hips against Lisa's, looking for friction on her most intimate part.

The girl pulls from her mouth, which Jennie is about to protest to when she instead latches on her neck. Lisa stays there, lapping like a kitten, spreading love bites, until she goes further down and does the same to her collarbone.

“Lisa...” Jennie says, a plea and a warning.

She does her best not to quiver when the youngest reaches her breasts. The first moment her warm, wet mouth touches her nipple, Jennie thinks she could come from it. Lisa is tentative and careful at first, licking and sucking both her nubs until they are hard points, then biting lightly. Jennie moans loudly in pleasure, and the girl responds by biting more, harder and harder until Jennie finally reaches both her limit and her peak of pleasure – not an orgasm, but the point where Lisa's ministrations are so intensely enjoyable they make stars glitter in Jennie's vision.

It's the most pleasurable torture the brunette could ever imagine. Lisa plays with her nipples until they are dark pink and painful, extremely sensitive to touch. Another thing Jennie never knew about herself before Lisa; it turns out she enjoys some pain with her pleasure.

“Lisa, Li-sa, please.” She half begs half demands, not sure what for. Lisa seems to decide it's time for something else, for she parts from Jennie's breasts with a few last, regretful licks.

Kissing softly down her belly, it isn't long until Lisa in laying on the bed with her face between Jennie's open legs. She's so close to her center, staring straight at it with no shame, though the older girl feels some through the haze of her arousal.

But when Lisa rests her hands on Jennie's thighs to keep them open, Jennie offers no resistance. In a way, it's sinfully delicious to be like this, splayed in front of Lisa like a meal, lustful and vulnerable.

“I'm not really sure how to do this, so tell me what you like and what you don't, okay?” Lisa warns, slightly insecure.

“O-Okay. You don't need to do it.” Jennie offers yet again, though she thinks she may die from frustration if Lisa doesn't bring her to a peak.

“I want to, Jen. You're just… so fucking gorgeous.” Lisa is not one to curse often, so the words make Jennie shudder in response.

With no further addendum, Lisa leans down until she's breathing right over her sex. Jennie is glad she showered, but manages to still feel self-conscious about her smell until Lisa lands a first lick, wet and long, and her brain stops working altogether.

Jennie trembles when Lisa rests each thumb over her lower lips and pulls them apart. She starts slow and careful, much as she usually seems to, landing soft licks to the hard nub of her clit, which is completely exposed and under her mercy.

Jennie's eyes want to fall closed from the pleasure, but the sight of Lisa's head between her legs in one she wants to register in her brain forever. The youngest continues her exploration, undeterred by Jennie's moaning and squirming.

She laps at her in her own pace, registering what has the brunette moaning louder and what gets less reaction, rubs, flicks, harder, lighter, sucking, lightly biting, she tries everything, getting lost in the pleasure of touching Jennie and forgetting about what she read, worried only about exploring what's in front of her.

Lisa was afraid she wouldn't enjoy her taste – she had once, in curiosity, brought her fingers to her mouth after an intense session of self-pleasure and found the taste too tangy and overpowering for her. She has no idea if Jennie's pussy simply tastes better, as all of her seems to, or if it's the arousal of the situation, and she very much doesn't care.

All she knows is that she could stay here for hours and hours, between the other girl's legs, drowning in her scent and relishing in her taste. She licks and tastes Jennie's most intimate crevices and corners, not even a shadow of shame or disgust anywhere in sight.

The orgasm the brunette gave her earlier was very satisfying, but Lisa's own core is throbbing again, aroused by touching the other girl. It does feel so, so good to give her pleasure. Each of her responses satisfies a deep-seated, lizard-y part of Lisa's brain, which wants nothing more than to please.

She preens in pleasure when Jennie brings a hand down to grasp at her hair, allowing the girl to dictate the pace with which Lisa laps at her. Remembering how painfully delicious the burn of Jennie's fingers stretching her had felt earlier, Lisa brings her hand over Jennie's sex, inserting one, then two fingers inside her impossibly soft warmth.

“Mo-more, Lisa. Harder.” Jennie commands, and Lisa is quick to respond by adding a third finger and putting more strength behind her thrusts. It seems like she found the perfect combination, for Jennie goes non-verbal, her pleasure measured only in how her sex clenches against Lisa's intrusion and in her moans as they arrive at her ears.

Thank gosh the dorm has very thick walls. Necessary, when all who live there are musically inclined. But also useful, when two of them want to have secret, but loud sex.

Jennie's core weeps from pleasure, more and more slick dripping on Lisa's hand and mouth. She knows her face must be wet to the eyebrows, and feels nothing but satisfaction at the thought. Lisa had absolutely no clue she could be this debauched, could delight this much from being covered by another's bodily fluids, drowned in them as Jennie pushes her head down with more strength when she nears her peak.

“Lisa!” Jennie orgasms with her name on her lips, which gives Lisa no small amount of pleasure. She pumps her fingers inside the girl hard, sucking her clit with unrelenting intensity, thoroughly enjoying her squirming and trembling, the clenching of the older girl's sex under her ministrations.

Alas, when Jennie closes her legs, panting but done, Lisa drags her body up the bed and falls beside her. Jendeuk quickly attaches herself to Lisa, mindless of the fluids covering her, she gives the youngest a long kiss.

“That was… amazing, Lisa.” She has a leg over Lisa's hips, wet sex rubbing against her hip. One of her hands rests over her right breast almost possessively – which drives a shiver down Lisa's body – and the other softly runs over her hair.

Lisa kisses Jennie's arm where she can reach it, then the girl herself.

“Tonight was amazing. You're amazing.”

Jennie smiles in response, then, with no compunction, grabs a corner of the duvet and uses it to carefully dry Lisa's face.

“I made a mess on you.” Jennie should be more embarrassed about it, but she isn't.

“I liked it.” Lisa answers in all sincerity. “I've secretly always been a little… not disgusted, but bothered by the idea of oral sex, you know? Not that I ever had it before, because I didn't, but I thought about it. I kinda knew, though, that I would enjoy it if it was you. And I did, Jen.”

“Good, me too.” The room smells strongly of sex, but when she holds Lisa close, Jennie can mostly smell her, and it's as comforting as it's delicious. “I think I love you, Lisa.” She says, voice soft.

“I think I love you too.” Lisa answers in much the same way, smiling. “Though that's old news.”

“Lucky me.” Jennie whispers to herself, but Lisa hears.

“Lucky us.” She decides, instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I took forever, sorry guys. But creativity comes when it comes, and this chapter is the longest one yet. I have to say, Chaelisa's dynamic is a joy to write. Please tell me what you think about all of it, especially the, uh, naughty bits.


	4. Chapter 4

There's a shadow on the wall. Lisa knows it must be morning because there are slivers of light escaping from between Jennie's blackout curtains and creating a shimmery pattern of straight lines, like parallel bars. Still, the room is dark and silent, Jennie's soft breathing beside her the loudest sound. But there's this shadow on the wall, out-of-place, there seems to be nothing that could cause it.

Lisa watches the shadow listlessly. It's tall and has a humanoid shape. The fact Lisa isn't surprised when it moves makes it no less terrifying. Trapped in her own body, paralyzed by recent sleep, she can only watch as it grows and morphs into a concrete shape.

A man made of darkness, he walks towards Lisa until he's leaning over her. He has no features other than huge, white eyes that stare into her face and a wide-toothed mouth, lacking lips. It grins at her, hungry and terrifying.

The shadow slowly leans further down, mouth opening in preparation for his meal. Lisa tries to scream, to move, to do anything other than watch, but can't. She could swear she can smell his foul breath on her face, in the last second before he bites down on her.

Which is the exact moment in which Lisa's body twitches and she flings herself from the bed, falling painfully on the wooden floor, infinitely relieved the paralysis is over but feeling sick from terror.

“It's not real, not real.” She tells herself, but it doesn't help with her racing heart and trembling limbs.

Lisa can't even remember when she first started having night terrors and sleep paralysis, since it was probably sometime in her early childhood. But it also didn't seem to matter before, for they were never frequent.

She can recall maybe a handful of instances of it as a child, a bit more as a teenager. However, it finally began to be a problem more recently, and now Lisa can expect an episode of one or both per week.

She would wonder why that is, if she didn't already know the answer.

“...Lisa?” Jennie's soft, sleepy voice interrupts Lisa's thoughts, and she painstakingly pushes herself up to sit on the bed again.

“Hey.” She greets Jennie, though she can't help but glance at the spot on the wall the shadow had appeared, she quickly turns to look at the older girl again.

Which is a huge help, as the sight of her never fails to warm Lisa up, particularly Jennie's puffy waking up face, covered with sleepiness that she tries to shake away by blinking in the most adorable way.

“What happened, are you okay?” The brunette asks, having been awaken by the thud of Lisa falling from the bed and now noticing her uneasiness, expression still shaken.

“I'm fine. Just a bad dream.” She tries for a reassuring smile, but as Jennie frowns in worry, Lisa knows it doesn't quite work.

“You had one last week too.” The older girl states, shimming forward on the bed until she's kneeling beside the other.

Lisa's shoulders slump.

“Yeah.”

“What happened?” Jennie's eyes watch her, alert now.

Lisa sighs, body finally loosening after her adrenaline rush, she suddenly feels tired. Jennie leans closer, arms snaking to wrap around Lisa from behind, who answers the touch by relaxing into the embrace.

“It was actually sleep paralysis these last two times. This… thing, a shadow that looks like a man. It tries to eat me, then I wake up.” She explains.

“Do you think it means something?” Jennie buries her nose in Lisa's neck, breathing her sweet flowery scent in, more a selfish reassurance that she's safe and well than anything else.

Lisa hums while she thinks, before shrugging.

“Just means that my brain is weird. Which we already knew.” She turns to see Jennie's face, giving her a small smile.

“You didn't use to have them so often.” Jennie states, now running a hand up and down Lisa's arm, comforting. “I wish I could help.” Her voice is pained.

“This helps so much, unnie.” Lisa says, turning her body so she can embrace the older girl as well.

They stay there for long moments, warm skins rubbing together except for where they both had the presence of mind to put on a shirt sometime during the night. Jennie is worried about Lisa, unhappy that she's suffering and there's nothing she can do to stop it, so she holds her tight and close, doesn't stop caressing any part of her she can reach, her back, the smooth skin of her arm, the soft, messy ends of her hair.

Lisa basks in the contact with the older girl, her night terror now a far away memory that she easily pushes away inside a tightly sealed box in her brain. Jennie smells different in the morning, softer and sweeter somehow, the warmth of a night under the blankets clinging to her skin. It's both familiar and delectable, and Lisa thinks she could stay like this, breathing her in, forever.

“Are you feeling better?” Jennie asks at some point.

Lisa exhales in pure contentment.

“I barely remember what I was feeling bad about.”

Alas, they both have places to be, lives that go on regardless of what happens in the privacy of a bedroom. Lisa pulls away first and kisses Jennie's lips softly, once, twice, she refrains from deepening the kiss because her mouth feels sticky and bitter from her nightmare and she would rather not subject Jennie to that.

The brunette whines in protest when Lisa finally starts untangling their limbs so she can reach for her cellphone to see the time.

“I just need to see what time is it, unnie.” Lisa justifies, so Jennie begrudgingly allows her the distance necessary to do so.

When Lisa pushes the button and her cellphone comes to life, she stares at it for two seconds before her eyes go wide. When she turns to show it to Jennie, she can see the display reading '7:43 A.M.'.

They sit frozen in panic for another five seconds, before Jennie all but jumps from the bed and goes into a mad dash for the bathroom.

“Shit, shit, Jisoo will kill me. I forgot to set my alarm!” Jennie curses as she scrambles away. Lisa sits on the bed and tries not to laugh at her, losing it in no more than a few seconds as she sees Jennie rush back out of the bathroom to make a crazy dash around the room for clothes, before running in again.

Jennie is so focused on not giving Jisoo a reason to murder her she doesn't bother to snap at Lisa for so glaringly laughing at her predicament – which is also partially her fault, since she's the reason Jennie was too distracted the night before to remember to put her alarm on.

Also, it feels nice to hear Lisa's unique, cute laughter.

That is then immediately cut short when Lisa hears the tell-tale click of Jennie's door being pushed open. She freezes in place, eyes widening, afraid to look and see who is coming in. Lisa sits there in Jennie's undone bed, wearing only her crumpled, half-buttoned pajama shirt, messy-haired and about to have a panic attack.

Jisoo stops by the door just as she comes in, her gaze inevitably shifting to land on Lisa. Their eyes meet but the older girl's face doesn't change. She blinks once in bewilderment, then her eyes slide down briefly to glance at Lisa's state of attire. The younger girl stares at Jisoo, sure her own face shows every bit of the horror she's assaulted with at being found like this.

“Morning, Lisa.” Jisoo says, before her eyes leave her as if nothing out of the ordinary was seen at all. “Jennie, if you're not ready in -” She pauses to glance down at a golden wristwatch that Lisa vaguely remembers Chaeyoung gifting her. “- thirteen minutes, you can run all the way there!”

“I'm almost ready!” Jennie yells from the bathroom.

Jisoo walks in until she can look inside the adjacent bathroom where a messy-haired, half-dressed Jennie is attempting to brush her teeth and put socks on at the same time.

“I can see that.” Jisoo shakes her head in mock disappointment. She walks into the bathroom, stops, saying something to Jennie Lisa can't quite hear, before she walks closer and picks up a hairbrush from the counter to start untangling the mess on Jennie's head.

Lisa's heart feels about to jump out of her chest. She may also be shaking slightly, but quickly takes the chance to make an escape to her own room. Her pants and underwear were left inside the bathroom the night before, so she regretfully gives up on them as a lost cause, but she refuses to walk across the dorm in her state.

After stealing a pair of Jennie's old sweatpants draped over a chair she steps out of the room with light feet. Only to almost topple against a newly awoken Chaeyoung, who's walking down the corridor with a huge blanket around her shoulders. Lisa has to hold her by the arms to stop them both from bouncing into each other.

“Hey!” The blonde girl yelps in surprise and Lisa all but jumps out of her skin, heart doing a 180° in her chest.

She's 100% done with surprises and adrenaline for today, Lisa thinks.

“So that's where you went last night! We didn't even finish the season we were on, Lisa.” Is Chaeng's annoyed morning greeting.

“Ah, you startled me. Make some noise, will you?” Lisa complains, laying a hand over her chest. “We can finish the season tonight.”

But Chaeyoung isn't really worried about that, and looks at Lisa's flustered face, messy hair and crumpled pajama shirt, which is still not fully buttoned. When her eyes go down to see what Lisa knows she will recognize as one of Jennie's favorite sweatpants – it's black with pink stripes on the side and short enough on Lisa's long legs to show her ankles – she knows she must find a way to ditch her, fast.

“Why are you being weird?” Chaeng can be nothing if not direct when she wants to. Especially this early in the day.

“Ah, I just- I need to go. I'm late, I have a schedule today, you know.” She tells her unimpressed blonde friend.

“I know, because I will go with you. It's in the afternoon.”

“Yeah, sure, but I have stuff to do before.” Lisa tries to step around the blonde girl, who moves at the same time, effectively blocking her.

“Stuff?”

“Yes, stuff. Now let me through or I won't make breakfast for you!” Lisa threatens.

“You know that's a good reason _not_ to let you through. You burn instant noodles.” Chaeyoung argues reasonably.

Lisa feels the need to whine come from deep within and doesn't stop it.

“Why is everyone out to get me today? What did I do?” She looks up at the ceiling, which offers no explanations.

“You mean Jisoo caught you in Jennie's room too? Why is that bad? Is she mad because if you're sleeping with Jennie then she can't?” Chaeng frowns in puzzlement.

“Oh my God, it's too early for this. I'm going to my room now.” Lisa gives up, now successfully side-stepping her friend, who looks at her confused and suspicious for a few more seconds, but soon shrugs and returns to her trod down the corridor, blanket still over her shoulders.

When Lisa bangs shut the door of the safe haven of her room, she slumps against it in relief. She hasn't been awake for a full hour yet but finds herself already exhausted by the day. She just hopes Jennie is having a better go at it than her.

  
  


* * *

Jennie's day is not going well.

Lisa's night terror, then her being late, and to kick it all off in a spectacularly horrible way, she's soon faced with hers and Lisa's lack of foresight the night before when Jisoo comes into the bathroom to help her get ready and immediately steps on Jennie's soggy, forgotten underwear.

Jennie's eyes widen. Jisoo looks down in confusion, then her eyebrows rise as she realizes what the wet piece of cloth she stepped on with her bare foot is. She wrinkles her nose in a way that Jennie would normally find cute but now spikes her anxiety to panicky levels.

When Jisoo's eyes go up to meet Jennie's, there's puzzlement on her face. But something about how Jennie's heart is going at double speed and it must surely show in her expression is conclusive enough that a glint goes through Jisoo's eyes, which soon widen in surprise.

She knows.

“You, and Lisa..?” Jisoo doesn't quite ask. The surprise stays on her face only for as long as it takes Jennie to unfreeze and nod, tentative.

“Oh...okay.” Then the older girl's face clears as if nothing of significance happened. She kicks the forgotten underwear to the side.

“We're late. I won't ask about this now.” Jisoo informs. Jennie blinks, then nods, hesitantly going back to brushing her teeth. “Only for now.” Jisoo completes softly, picking up a hairbrush from the counter and proceeding to carefully untangle the mess on Jennie's head.

Going to bed with wet hair is a terrible idea, and she not only did that the night before, she also rolled and tussled around for a good while before going to sleep. Now she's left with a bird's nest on her head and regretting every single life-choice up until this point that led her here – with the glaring exception of kissing Lisa, which is ironically the decision most responsible for Jennie's current situation.

Jennie can see Lisa's pants and underwear also clearly visible on the floor and her cheeks burn with shame. She's so thankful Jisoo is willing to ignore what she clearly now knows about Lisa and Jennie that she couldn't put it into words if she wanted to.

But her throat feels tight and there's something gripping at her chest that strongly resembles the feeling she gets when she knows something will jump out at her in the dark.

She spits out the foam in her mouth. Jennie should move on to her make-up now. But she stays still and stares at her own reflection on the mirror, pale and sickly. She only notices her hands are trembling when Jisoo lands her warm palm over where Jennie's right hand rests on the sink.

“It's okay.” The older girl says, voice low. “It's okay, Jennie.” She reassures.

Jennie lets out a shaky breath, tension bleeding out of her slowly as Jisoo works on her hair. She bravely pushes away the urge to cry. This is not something she stopped to think about before, not truly, when she should have. It was careless of her to leave her door unlocked, to not put her alarm on, to let all of this damning evidence spread over her bathroom.

But it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. Jisoo had already known something was up, had already been inquiring Jennie about how much time she has been spending with Lisa, about the fact that she hasn't been… well, her usual clingy-self with Jisoo – she has been too busy being clingy with Lisa, instead.

To some extent, Jennie thought she was ready for this. Maybe not for the whole world to know, but for Jisoo and Chaeyoung, yes. But the reality of certain situations tends to surprise Jennie in the worst ways because her own vulnerabilities are often a mystery to her. Jennie is all poised and cool until she's _not_. She's on top of a situation and doing well until she just… can't.

It's like that one time she went into a Horror House at a stupid variety show. She was so confident, so sure she would be okay, and it turned out that none of the fear she showed there was faked for entertainment. Everyone was laughing at her then, of course they were, it was a silly TV Show and a dumb, fake horror house. But Jennie had been terrified, truly.

She hates surprises. Loud noises, dark places, sudden movement. Of course she would be afraid when someone found out about her and Lisa. Even if she can't really distinguish the exact reason for her fear, it's there. And rationally, there would be good reason for it if it were anyone other than Jisoo.

Jennie can only have nightmares about what the media would do with a picture of her and Lisa kissing. What a trusted, nice YG Staff would do if they heard or saw something incriminating enough. She doesn't want to find out how low her bosses, the paparazzi and even many so-called 'fans' can go over something that shouldn't be any of their business. Jennie is well-aware how Korea views homosexuality, and it barely warrants the adjective 'tolerable'.

“Jennie, it's okay.” Jisoo says again, and Jennie looks in the other girl's eyes on the mirror. Her forehead is furrowed in worry. But there's nothing else there, no repulse, not even surprise anymore.

“I'm sorry.” Jennie apologizes, not sure what for.

Jisoo sighs, almost exasperated.

“I won't tell. And you can talk to me when you're ready. It's fine, Jendeuk. You did nothing wrong, okay?”

Jennie blinks her tears away. She loves this woman. There's a reason why she is her best friend.

“Thank you.” She says, then takes a deep breath, trying to settle down her feelings.

“You don't have to thank me. I didn't do anything.” Jisoo admonishes her. “Except brushing your hair. That deserves a big 'thank-you', it's true. What did you even do? If I didn't see you yesterday I would have said you haven't brushed it this month yet.”

Jennie can't help but smile at that. Feeling shaken, but thankful, she concentrates on putting her make-up on without making a bigger mess of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I spot a bit of a plot here? Oh, why, I do! Finally XD
> 
> Please let me know what you think, guys, reviews help me soooo much!


	5. Chapter 5

Lisa knows she’s in Los Angeles by the way in which the sun shines so brightly it overcomes the barrier of the tinted windows of the car to sting the exposed skin of her arms. The big streets filled with burly-looking cars, the palm trees, and the azure blue sky hit her with the weirdest of nostalgic feelings.

They were here not long ago promoting their brand around the land of the free so that the next two weeks will go smoothly and both Blackpink’s dates on Coachella can be graced with a respectable number of fans. There’s no reason to have missed a place she has been to not even two months before.

Still, with her eyes glued to the window watching the cars, the people and the buildings go by, she realizes she did miss it, somehow. A possible reason for it reveals itself when the car slides smoothly on a drive-way and Lisa steps out, accompanied by Chaeyoung, and is met only by the sunshine and the dry breeze. The people who stroll down the side-walk spare no more than a glance towards the two of them, even with their managers, a mean-looking security guard and the bulky black SUV. Lisa figures that’s just Tuesday for LA citizens.

With the band complete after Jennie and Jisoo’s car arrives, the four of them walk through the hot parking lot to enter a busy Starbucks. Then, it’s made clear to Lisa that the USA hasn’t quite caught up to Asia when it comes to Kpop, or at least to Blackpink. It’s hard for her to be upset about it at this moment, it feels so nice to be able to walk into a busy coffee place with all her members and not get mobbed. It has been long enough since the four of them managed such a thing that it feels like it’s pre-debut days again.

Lisa can tell one girl recognizes them. She has dark blue hair and is sitting by a window with her headphones and a laptop. She does a double-take at Lisa, eyes widening, then pulls her cellphone out for a quick picture. After, she goes back to her laptop and seems happy enough to ignore them with the exception of an occasional glance.

Jennie orders for herself and Jisoo, Chaeyoung offers to order for her, but Lisa wants to do it herself. The cashier speaks so quickly, however, that Lisa can’t really understand half of what he says. When in doubt, she answers ‘yes’ to his questions until, at last, a huge, cold, foamy drink drizzled with caramel is given to her. It’s sickeningly sweet. Lisa loves it.

Jennie wants to sit down and enjoy her cold drink somewhere under the sunlight. Considering they have just arrived from an obscenely long flight everyone is in the mood to indulge her. She slides to sit by a window and Lisa, keenly missing her since she was seated with Chaeyoung for their flight, slides right beside the brunette.

Lisa gives Jisoo a smile when she catches her looking. If the youngest sneaks her hand under the table to hold on to Jennie’s when they lean into each other, not even their hawk-eyed older member can tell. Jennie turns to give Lisa a smile, a simple, elegant quirk of her perfectly shaped, pink lips. Lisa stares and takes a deep breath. No kissing in public, she reminds herself.

“What did you get?” Jennie asks her, nodding towards the sugary monstrosity Lisa laid on the table.

“I...actually am not sure.” Lisa tilts her head, thinking.

“Looks like a caramel frappuccino, you’ve had that before, Lisa. We have Starbucks in Korea.” Jennie says, smirk making it clear she finds Lisa’s silliness amusing. “Give it here, let me make sure.”

She takes Lisa’s drink with no hesitation, sucking on the straw with a level of poise that should be impossible at a Starbucks.

“Hey, don’t drink it all. I wanna try yours too.” Lisa complains, then reaches for Jennie’s drink. The brunette doesn’t relinquish her hold but offers the cup so Lisa can have some.

It’s considerably less sweet than Lisa’s drink, but it’s not bad. Lisa grunts her approval.

“Yours is too sweet.” Jennie wrinkles her nose adorably.

“I like sweet things.” Lisa says. “It’s why I like you so much, unnie.” She grins at the way Jennie can’t hold back a smile even as she rolls her eyes at her.

“I have no idea why I like you, then. _I’m not big on cheesy_.” Jennie tries to keep her face serious. But she’s so proud of her English pun that a gummy smile escapes her.

“Awn, so you do like me.” Lisa concludes, smiling unreservedly.

Jennie doesn’t even pretend disapproval at Lisa’s cheekiness, since she’s so cute while doing it.

“What is going on with the two of you?” Chaeyoung asks, brown furrowed. “Jisoo, why are they like that?”

The blonde turns to their oldest member, who seems happy to just suck on the straw of her drink. Its’ colorful constitution speaks of a sugar bomb worse than Lisa’s. Jisoo likes to indulge herself on occasion.

She shrugs.

“The flight scrambled their brains.” Her deadpan expression is what sells it. Even the girls being teased smile in response. “Though their brains were always scrambled.”

“Hey!” Jennie protests. Then is immediately distracted by Lisa, who managed to take the lid off her drink and is now licking the cream off of her paper straw.

Her tongue is very pink and her lips are a nice orange shade from her lipstick. Jennie tries not to think about how long it has been since she kissed those lips and fails. The week before the trip was a crazy, exhausting mess of work and more work. Between their packed schedules, getting ready for the flight, flying and getting here, it has been days since she had more than a fleeting moment alone with Lisa.

That’s too long.

“...What?” Lisa asks when she catches her staring.

Jennie quirks an eyebrow at where Lisa is still holding the straw, dripping milky coffee on the tabletop. A self-satisfied smile stretches on her lips when Lisa realizes what she had been doing and quickly puts her straw in the cup, flustered.

It slides off her face when she remembers Rosie and Jisoo, the first who is staring at her with a frown on her forehead and narrowed eyes. Meanwhile, Jisoo is distractedly people-watching and not paying attention to Jennie at all. It reminds Jennie that she’s still up for that conversation with the older girl, they simply haven’t had time yet.

“Should we get to the hotel?” Jennie asks, avoiding Rosie’s gaze.

Lisa hears a soft clicking sound and turns to see the blue-haired girl from before taking more pictures. She nods.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

Later, after Jennie has dragged her suitcases into the room with the help of a manager and changed into sweats, she patters through the carpeted, elegant hallway of the hotel to two rooms over. She knocks quickly on the door.

The girl who opens it has a face clean of make-up and a smile ready for her.

Jennie is aware she shouldn’t spend the night with Lisa. There will be work in the morning, the entire week is carefully planned so they make good use of their time. There’s the cool excitement in her belly from the idea of their performance at the festival. She needs her rest and they both should be getting used to subtlety.

But Lisa kisses her and Jennie melts. Smooth hands hold Jennie’s face with care, warm, delectable lips against hers. Flowery and sweet, Lisa’s lips and scent make Jennie dizzy. Too inebriated by her, it’s hard to spare a thought to anything else. In a flurry of lean limbs, whispered words dripping with sweetness and an edge of desperation born out of not knowing for how long they may need to be apart again they fall on the silky sheets of Lisa’s hotel bed. Jennie is aroused already, the feeling in her core distinctive and stoked by Lisa’s touch like a forest fire by the wind. But this isn’t about it, somehow, there’s a different need pulling at her, clawing in her chest and making it hurt.

“I missed you.” She pulls away to tell her.

“Me too. I missed you too.” And Lisa leans in for another round of almost-harsh kissing, she’s so eager to be closer. As close as she can and then a little more.

Jennie is happy to indulge her, but she isn’t done and the strange feeling swells in her chest again.

“That was too long.” Jennie whispers, but is interrupted by Lisa nipping at her lips. A shiver runs down Jennie’s spine. The younger girl presses soft kisses to her chin when the brunette speaks again. “It was just a few days, but it felt like forever.”

“Yes, it was. So long.” Lisa’s eyes glitter, filled with so much. She’s easy to read, particularly to Jennie. Her big eyes hold nothing back, open and intent. Her expression is both relaxed and tense. Relived and wanting. She watches Jennie as if she can’t quite believe she’s real, but trusts that she is.

The sight of such feelings so plain in Lisa’s adorable, beautiful face crashes through Jennie, heightening her own emotions. She gives up kissing in favor of drawing Lisa near, as close as she can be. Jennie traps the others’ legs between her own, one hand hides in her messy strands and the other slides under her shirt to rest against the warm expanse of her back. She buries her face in Lisa’s neck and breathes her in.

The relief in it scares her. The soft press of Lisa’s lips against the curve of her throat makes Jennie feel like she could cry. She runs a finger down Lisa’s spine, the bumps easily felt under her smooth skin. Jennie thinks she could count them and be content. There’s no boredom when Lisa is close enough to touch, see and taste.

Something has changed. She knows it has. Jisoo finding out about them and the horrid, work-heavy week they labored through has shifted something for Jennie. Though she has been doing her best not to think about it, not to worry about it, she can’t. It’s too real, too close, a looming shadow cast over the brightest thing Jennie has ever had in her life.

“This isn’t normal.” She whispers to Lisa, a secret. When she feels the other trying to pull back to look at her face, Jennie tightens her hold. Not a trap, never that, but a request. She can’t say it, not while looking into Lisa’s bright, honest eyes. “What we have isn’t common. It has nothing to do with we being women, or idols, or whatever. I’ve known you forever. Before, it was already like you had seen most of me, the good and the bad.”

Jennie takes a shuddering breath, Lisa stays pliable in her arms, but lands comforting kisses on the skin available to her. There’s a painting on the wall Jennie stares at. A winter landscape, as beautiful as it’s cold.

“Now, it’s even more. It’s so much, but not too much. I-I can’t even say how much I love being with you, Lisa.” She pauses, emotions threatening to drown her.

“Keep going.” Lisa whispers. Jennie takes a deep breath.

“But I’m afraid. I’m so, so afraid. I was pushing it away, I was doing pretty well at it. But then… that day, the morning after our shower, do you remember?” Lisa hums in confirmation. “Jisoo came in and, just, she knew then. I didn’t tell her, but it was obvious. And I got so afraid, even though it was just Jisoo and she was great about it and she would never hurt us.”

“Jisoo knows, then?” Lisa asks unnecessarily, Jennie nods against her skin. “That’s okay, as you said, she won’t do anything bad. She would never.”

“Yes, but that’s not it. I’m afraid to think what will happen if anyone other than her and Rosie find out. I think I have a good enough idea.” Jennie doesn’t say it because she knows Lisa understands. She watched first hand as the world tried to rip Jennie apart for being in a ‘socially acceptable’ relationship, not all that long ago.

What something like that will do to her and Lisa, to Blackpink, fills Jennie with dread. But having said what she wanted to, shared the burden in her heart, Jennie feels lighter. Lisa tries to pull back and she allows her.

Lisa’s forehead is furrowed, there’s sadness and hesitancy in the tightness around her eyes. Her voice is so very soft when she speaks.

“Do you want to stop?” As if it physically pains her to say it, her frown gets deeper.

Jennie’s eyes widen at the mere mention of it.

“No, of course not. If you mean break-up, just, no way.” Jennie emphasizes, hoping her expression is conveying the seriousness of her feelings.

Lisa looks relived, then puzzled.

“‘Break-up’, do you mean we are… girlfriends?” Lisa inquires.

It brings a smile to Jennie’s lips, the guileless expression of surprise and awe on the younger girl’s face.

“What? Were you waiting for me to formally ask you? Of course we are, Lisa.” She answers, amused and fond in equal measure. “I didn’t say any of that to push you away or scare you. On the contrary. I just had to. I’m sorry.” She clarifies.

Lisa seems to be reeling from their relationship-status revelation for a couple of seconds. But recovers at the gravity of the subject. She stares at Jennie, serious. Then, leans in for a firm, reassuring press of lips.

“I understand. I’m glad you talked to me about it. We can be careful, I will always be careful. I promise.” Lisa is earnest, as she is with everything that matters to her.

Maybe they can keep it a secret for a long time. Years. Perhaps even for as long as they have to, for as long as Blackpink exists or as long as it takes Korea and the world to be accepting enough, though she doubts the latter will happen in her lifetime. It’s a sad thought still. To love someone this much, to have found something that makes Jennie elated enough she feels her chest swell with the need to yell it to the skies. And to hide it away like a dirty secret. To know people would see it as such.

Her eyes feel wet all of sudden. But she doesn’t cry, one, because it would alarm Lisa and get her crying as well. Two, because she has a big reason to be happy about, a person-shaped one who is laying in her arms.

“And if it does come out. If the paparazzi catch us kissing or, heck, we just want to be public, I will be with you, Jennie. You won’t be alone.” Lisa’s promise catches Jennie off guard. “You’re my girlfriend.” She completes, still amazed by the notion.

“Ugh, no Lisa, I was trying not to cry.” Jennie complains, for the girl’s words push her over the edge.

Lisa’s giggle is cute and tinged with sadness.

“You have ten seconds to stop before I start and we feed into each other’s tears.” Lisa warns, thumb chasing the tears from Jennie’s face.

“Okay, okay.” Jennie sniffs. It helps to look at Lisa. She just… makes her happy. “I’m good.”

“You are.” Lisa confirms. Then pulls Jennie for another tight, warm, full-body hug. “I love you. I loved you before and love you now, even more.”

Jennie doesn’t need to ask what ‘before’ is. It’s part of their code now. Things have come to be defined by ‘before’, before they were together, before they knew one another in this way. And the ‘after’, the now, the future.

“I love you too.” Jennie states.

She does, like it’s dissolved in her blood, running through all of her along with her red and white cells. But because Jennie not only loves Lisa, but also _wants_ her, she pulls away from the hug in order to push their lips together.

  
  


* * *

Jennie is awoken in the middle of the night by a buzzing sound. Disoriented and sleepy, it takes her a while to identify it. Lisa is dead to the world, asleep belly up with one arm over her head. On the bedside table, Lisa’s phone vibrates, emanating a blue light that casts shadows over the dark bedroom. Jennie blinks and tries to ignore it. But it rings and rings, stops, then restarts. She leans over Lisa’s dormant body so she can get her phone and put it on plane mode. However, worry and curiosity get her glancing at the caller’s id.

Unknown. 6 missed calls.

She doesn’t have Lisa’s password, so that’s all the info she has access to. It’s strange, however, since this is Lisa’s personal cellphone, a couple dozen people maybe have this particular number. None of which would call her with a blocked number. But it’s too late for her to think too much about this. She won’t wake up Lisa when the younger girl so clearly needs sleep and it’s probably nothing to be concerned with. Jennie turns on airplane mode and puts the phone back where it was. She snuggles under the covers again, shimming closer to Lisa until she can rest her face on the nook of her shoulder, an arm over her belly.

She’s in deep slumber in less than a minute. In the morning, Jennie’s sleep-addled brain has already wiped her memory of waking up in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, guys. I've literally moved countries this last month. And inspiration unfortunately comes when it comes. I hope you like this. And know that reviews motivate me to write a lot, really. They make a world of difference to me, even if I some times take longer to respond, I read and love every single one.


	6. Chapter 6

Jisoo doesn’t ask as many questions as Jennie thought she would. They get spicy chicken delivered from a corner shop their American driver recommended with firm insistence and make themselves comfortable in the living space of Jisoo’s opulent, black-and-white hotel room. It’s a cool night after a day of rehearsal and Jennie takes a shower in Jisoo’s room as they wait for the chicken, borrows one the hotel-issued white, fluffy bathrobes, and then checks her social media while the older girl gets clean as well.

The chicken arrives just as Jisoo finishes and they eat sitting on the carpeted floor around the coffee table instead of using the marbled table in the corner of the room. Jisoo smiles and jokes as usual, talking about all the shenanigans of the day and the cartoon they watched together on the flight over. Jennie laughs with her, thankful for the fact that absolutely not one thing seems to have changed. Her chest squeezes when Jisoo makes a pun about chicken and she vows to spend more time with her unnie. Jennie is feeling positively out of breath from laughing by the time they are done eating.

There is red sauce on Jisoo’s chin and Jennie giggles about it until the older girl catches on. Then Jisoo somehow gets Jennie to agree to some late-night ice cream that they order from room service. It’s only half-way through a very nice petite-gateau that Jennie herself gathers some courage and brings up the subject that has been scratching at the back of her mind for the whole evening.

“So… didn’t you want to talk about the other day with Lisa?” Jennie starts paying extra attention to her portion of ice cream.

Jisoo doesn’t pretend not to know what she’s talking about.

“Only if you want to, Jendeuk.” Her smile is kind. “I’m more curious than anything.”

“Ask away, unnie.” Jennie offers with only minor trepidation.

“Okay, so… when did that start?”

“About a month ago. Just as we got a break from the tour.”

Jisoo hums in acknowledgment.

“And… how did it begin, or, why?” She takes a big bite of ice-cream.

Jennie blinks and wonders at that herself. ‘When?’ is an easy enough question. But ‘how?’ and worse, ‘why?’ are more difficult ones. She herself has no idea, and telling Jisoo what comes to mind makes her cringe even in imagination. ‘ _Lisa was just laying prettily on her bed one night and I couldn’t resist_ ’ seems both unsatisfactory and silly. Even though it’s true.

“I’m… not sure. We kind of kissed one night and then… It just felt nice, I guess.” She stutters, feeling a little like she does when she’s Blackpink’s spokesperson in an English interview but her throat is so tight from anxiety no words come out and Rosie has to help her out. “Do you think it’s weird?” Jennie asks.

“I would rather not step on any more wet underwear, Jennie.” Jisoo lightly admonishes. “That part was a little weird.”

“I’m sorry.” Jennie gives her an embarrassed smile.

Jisoo takes a bite overflowing with chocolate from the petite-gateau and seems to carefully think about what to say next.

“It’s not weird, Jendeuk.” She answers at last and Jennie deflates slightly in relief.

“How do you feel about it?” Jennie asks insecurely. “I know it’s dangerous. If someone finds out...it would be bad.”

Jisoo shrugs as if Jennie’s question is silly.

“I’m not the one who has to kiss Lisa.” Jisoo shudders at the thought, nose wrinkling in the exact same way it does whenever she’s faced with food she doesn’t particularly like. Jennie can’t help but smile. “So how I feel doesn’t really matter.”

“You know what I mean.” Jennie sobers up.

Jisoo lets out a sigh before answering.

“You and Lisa were always a little… flirty. You enjoy clinging to everyone you like, which is why you are _Jendeuk_ , but with her, I guess it was a bit different. I wouldn’t say this caught me completely off-guard and I thought ‘ _wow, this would never happen what the_ _heck_ ’ because that wouldn’t be true.” Jisoo explains patiently. Jennie is amazed by how her unnie makes her smile even while talking about something that makes Jennie deeply anxious and uncertain, but she’s thankful nonetheless.

“So, do you think it’s okay? If me and Lisa are careful, it’s alright?”

Jisoo looks at her intently and lets out a long-suffering sigh. Then relinquishes her hold on the spoon and scoots around the coffee table until she’s sitting beside Jennie, who watches her in confusion. When Jisoo leans in to hug her, Jennie relaxes her tense muscles and exhales in relief, hugging her back.

“I want you and Lisa to be happy. If this makes you happy, then I’m happy. You don’t need mine or anyone’s permission to live your life, Jendeuk.”

“Why are you so incredible?” Jennie asks Jisoo in all seriousness. She quickly blinks as her eyes start feeling teary.

“It’s not my fault everyone else is just average and I seem so awesome in comparison.” Her answer pulls a laugh out of Jennie, who hugs the older girl tighter and can’t help but cry on her shoulder, just a couple of tears.

“I’m afraid, unnie. I-I’m… Lisa is… I can’t even explain what’s like when I’m with her. It’s just right, you know? But I’m so afraid.” Saying the words is difficult, but it makes Jennie inexplicably lighter.

“What are you afraid of, my Mandu?”

“Of everyone and just… the media. If it comes out it would hurt you and Rosie too, it would hurt Blackpink.”

Jisoo doesn’t promise Jennie it wouldn’t because she knows better and she’s not a liar. She doesn’t say it doesn’t matter because it does, so much, to all four of them. What she says instead stays with Jennie in a way she couldn’t have expected. It makes a garden of possibilities bloom in her mind, pretty and endless.

“There will be life after Blackpink, Jendeuk. To be really honest, I don’t think Dispatch catching you and Lisa snogging would be the end of us. It will be unpleasant and there will be hate, but when isn’t there some hate, right? And if worse comes to worst we will still be a family until the day we die regardless of whether or not the four of us have a number one song together.” She pats Jennie’s back. “That I can promise you. For all we know Chaeyoung’s next boyfriend could be the end of Blackpink, or even mine. This is not a burden for you to bear.”

Jennie breathes in Jisoo’s comforting, flowery scent and hugs her a little tighter.

“Thank you.”

“For telling you the obvious? No need to thank me.”

“I don’t always know what is obvious or not, so, yes. Thanks, Jichu.”

Jisoo pats Jennie’s head and lets her cling all she wants.

“Does Chaeyoung know?” She asks.

“We haven’t told her, but she’s suspicious.” Jennie informs.

“Hm. She will be fine with it regardless. Though she will find the thought of kissing Lisa a little disturbing too.” Jisoo comments.

“Lisa is a great kisser, for your information.” Jennie teases. Jisoo shudders again.

“Not too many details, please. It’s like hearing my baby sister talk about sex.”

“I didn’t even talk about the sex, unnie. But it’s great, thank you for asking.” Jennie teases.

“Jennie, no!” Jisoo admonishes Jennie like she’s a misbehaving puppy. “Oh, by the way, if it leaks or you decide to go public, you have my support.” Jisoo says it like an afterthought, but Jennie couldn’t explain just how much those words mean to her.

“We won’t, go public, I mean. And we will try to be careful. This is no one’s business but our own and there are more reasons not to be public about it than just bad press. It’s precious, to me and Lisa.”

“I understand.” Jisoo reassures.

Jennie, feeling infinitely better, pulls back enough to see Jisoo’s face.

“I love you.” Jennie tells her. “Whatever happens, you are my family.”

“I love you too, Jendeuk.” Jisoo squeezes her hands.

Then, an impish smile starts forming on Jisoo’s face, she bites her lip and then decides to just say whatever it is she’s thinking.

“If you and Lisa become public, though, we should time it so it happens with a comeback.” She smirks. “We would get so much publicity out of it.”

Jennie’s eyes widen. But then she pictures it in her head and realizes it’s true, and suddenly the perspective of it happening doesn’t feel quite as terrible. She laughs.

  
  


* * *

There’s this tiny nook hidden under the stage.

Jennie sees it first when they rush down the stairs for a quick break. Two staff run to her, one holds a water bottle with a straw that Jennie immediately takes and the other has wipes that are carefully patted on her forehead. She glances around and there’s Jisoo crouching with her bottle, Rosie getting her make-up touched up and Lisa sitting on the corner of a couch, burgundy lips wrapped around a straw of her own.

The rush in Jennie’s ears doesn’t abate, her hands feel steady but her legs shake slightly. When someone starts trying to reapply her mascara it’s all she can do not to keep blinking. A staff patted Lisa’s forehead dry of sweat but sparkling clear drops still cling to her collarbone. They are suddenly rushed back to the stage, Jisoo leading the chase with Rosie while Lisa loses that extra second to wait for Jennie.

Jennie’s hand is squeezed by a clammy, warm palm and she glances at that hidden nook again, but two staffs are right behind them and there’s urgency to get back to the stage before the band finishes their solo. The next half-an-hour goes by in a blur of too-clear images that are burned into Jennie’s brain. A polychromatic mist seems to cover the audience, the lights from the stage being reflected back on the visible aura emanating from the overheated bodies.

A few moments ground her, a couple of seconds where it all becomes still only for it all to rush by again. Rosie is talking to the audience and all Jennie can think is this is their last. In an explosion not unlike the climax Jennie experienced in warm arms in those cooler moments right before daybreak just this morning, their stage comes to an end. She walks down the stairs with wobbly knees, blood loud on her ears. When they pass through that nook yet again, Rosie and Jisoo a few steps forward chattering excitedly and the darkness from the summer night falling like a warm blanket around them, Jennie’s fingers circle a slender wrist and pull.

It’s so dark she can see only the glimmering of Lisa’s eyes, her glittering eye-shadow, the sparkling choker on her graceful neck. Jennie pushes until Lisa’s back is touching metal. Her eyes close and Jennie touches dry and salty lips that taste like the finest of desserts, decadent like sweet chocolate wrapped in tart fruit. Jennie is pushed back but not away, turned around so that she’s the one cornered against a wall, a nose bumping into hers when Lisa presses her face closer. Jennie’s throat is seared by the touch of a thumb over her larynx, not pressing at all but holding her close. There’s just enough time to get a taste, a lick, and a bite.

The loud noise of the band stomping down the metal stairs wakes them up and Lisa pulls away. But in this hidden nook they can’t see anyone and no one can see them, so the younger girl stares into Jennie’s eyes as if the darkness isn’t enough to impede her from seeing, and lands a soft kiss to Jennie’s throat that’s all promise and care. They come out of their small hiding spot just as the heavy steps of the guys are fading. Lisa takes Jennie by the hand, pulling her out with a smile that makes her eyes sparkle. It’s a summer dream Jennie never wants to wake up from.

  
  


* * *

  
  


  
  


Lisa is startled back into consciousness by a nightmare and welcomed by an empty bed with clammy sheets. She pushes the covers from where they bundled around her legs and turns on her side, knees to her chest. Her phone vibrates on the nightstand, its’ eerie blue glow drowning the room in shadows. She closes her eyes and tries to forget the nightmare, the vibrating phone and the vacant spot beside her. Long seconds crawl away in the darkness.

She and Jennie had agreed that spending a night apart was, at this point, necessary. They haven’t been getting as much sleep as they should, too occupied by other activities to mind the fact that they have been working nearly non-stop. And the both of them have been neglecting their members in favor of each other. Therefore, Jennie spent an evening with Jisoo today and Lisa had dinner with Chaeyoung. But the youngest girl is now regretting the decision to sleep away from Jennie. She has gotten so used to it in such little time that it’s already difficult to do it by herself.

With a heavy sigh, she sits up and turns on the lamp near the bed. Lisa blinks a little to get used to the brightness. She stares in longing at a Channel cardigan left behind by Jennie the other night, hanging forgotten on a chair near the door. Her phone hasn’t stopped ringing for more than a few seconds. With resignation, she takes the device from the bedside table and answers it.

“Hello.” She mumbles.

No one responds. Lisa holds the phone to her ear, listening closely.

“Say something.” She tells whoever is on the other side. Silence. She turns it off.

A message pings on her screen, bringing with it a wave of fear that seems to slither down Lisa’s spine like a snake made of ice. She shudders and worries at her lip with her teeth, but clicks it open.

‘ _You shouldn’t change numbers so often._ ’ It says. ‘ _You forgot to block unknown calls._ ’

Lisa isn’t sure if she should scream or cry. She quickly sends her manager a text instead. ‘ _They are calling me again, they sent me a message_.’. But her manager is sleeping, as any normal person should be, so Lisa is left alone with this stranger on her cellphone. There’s a feeling of anger growing in her chest when she does as instructed and clicks away at her phone’s configurations until she manages to block unknown numbers. She goes ahead and out of pure pettiness blocks the number that sent her a message as well.

Another message comes, not five minutes later, from yet another number.

‘ _You need to take better care of yourself._ ’

Lisa feels like throwing her two-thousand-dollars cellphone at the wall. ‘ _State of art security_ ’ is what they said when she bought it. Clearly, not quite. She should turn off her internet and go to sleep. Or maybe change her number one more time, just to be difficult. But as she’s blinking back tears of anger her phone pings again, and when she looks there’s a picture in the sender’s profile and it brings Lisa joy instead of fear.

‘ _Are you awake?_ ’ Jennie asks, sending a sleepy emoji.

‘ _Yes_.’ Lisa doesn’t elaborate. ‘ _Why are you up? It’s late._ ’

Jennie answers immediately.

‘ _I miss you_.’ Sad emoji. ‘ _Can you come to my room?_ ’ Big-eyed, pouty emoji.

Lisa smiles to herself. It seems she isn’t the only one having a hard time trying to sleep by herself.

Ok emoji. ‘ _I’m coming._ ’

She doesn’t bother to change clothes, just shoves her feet in the hotel-issued fluffy slippers and takes her room card. She glances at the phone still clasped in her hand, turns on airplane mode and leaves it behind. The lights in the corridor turn on automatically when Lisa steps out. She pulls her door closed with care, then turns to walk the 10 meters or so between hers and Jennie’s room.

She’s half-way there when the elevator for this floor pings, metal doors opening and startling Lisa out of her own skin. It’s in between where she is and the door to Jennie’s room. Lisa freezes for two seconds but decides she might as well keep going. A well-dressed man steps out of the elevator just as she’s almost passing by and nearly bumps into her. She has never seen him before and he seems appropriately surprised to find a pajama-clad, Asian girl nearly running through a high-end hotel corridor in the late hours of the night.

“Oh, sorry.” He apologizes, taking a step back.

“Sorry.” Lisa mumbles in return, bowing slightly since the man seems at least a decade older than her. It’s hard for her to remember she isn’t supposed to, not here. She catches herself in the middle of the action.

“Hey, I know you.” He says before she can start running again, eyes narrowing towards her. “You performed at Coachella this weekend, Lisa, right?”

Lisa doesn’t want to be impolite and ignore him, so she stops and nods.

“Yes, that was me.” She answers in English and prays he doesn’t want a picture. She’s surprised he even managed to recognize her, in pajamas with bed-hair and no make-up.

“I’m Adam Campbell. I’m a producer at Instercope, I was supposed to meet you and the others last week but arrived late due to other work obligations.” He extends a hand, which Lisa gingerly shakes, now looking up to study his face better.

He is good-looking in a very standard American way. Sun-kissed blonde hair, with a ruggedly handsome face and a square jaw. He’s considerably taller than Lisa and has broader shoulders than most of the body-guards that YG got for her and her members. His smile is very straight and white. But he seems friendly enough and it would be strange for someone to lie about something this specific. If he is supposed to be one of the many meetings Blackpink has for their next long while in the U.S.A., it won’t be long until it’s proven true.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Sorry to do this in the middle of the corridor at this hour. Just seemed strange to let you go without an introduction when I’m supposed to meet you and, well, Blackpink, this week over coffee.” He explains, embarrassed. It warms Lisa to him slightly and she recognizes that it would have been uncomfortable.

“Oh, when?” She asks. Lisa takes a step back when he finally leaves the elevator.

“On Thursday. I’m sure your manager has spoken to you about it.” He’s calm enough it rings as true.

And then Lisa remembers. Their manager did speak to them about it, not two days ago. His words had been ‘ _Instercope wants you to meet with_ _a representative_ ’ or something like that, but it was also supposed to be on Thursday. She relaxes slightly and is about to answer him when she hears the clicking of a door opening and a soft voice calling her.

“...Lisa?” Jennie peeks out of her room, messy-haired and puffy-eyed. “What’s taking you so long?” Then she sees the man, Mr. Campbell. “Oh, hi.” She says, uncertain.

“Hello, I was just introducing myself to Lisa. I’m Adam Campbell, a producer from Interscope. I recognized her and, well, I’m supposed to meet you all for coffee later this week. You must be Jennie.” He steps towards Jennie as if to extend a hand to her as well, but it’s clear Jennie has no plans of leaving her room anytime soon as she hides further behind the door.

“It will be great to meet you later in the week.” The words are polite but her tone is dry and vaguely threatening. Lisa is startled by it. “Lisa, come, we need to sleep.” She nods encouragingly at her.

Lisa gives the man an awkward smile as she steps around him to get to Jennie’s door. The older girl watches him warily up until Lisa is close enough, then she grabs her by the arm and pulls her in.

“Have a good night, ladies.” Mr. Campbell says. Lisa can’t answer or see him go because Jennie immediately bangs the door closed after she’s through it.

“Why did you do that?” Lisa asks, confused and a little worried that they just offended some big-shot from Interscope.

Jennie stares at her, eyebrows raised in consternation.

“If he is who he says he is, he will understand. You don’t talk to strange men in the middle of the night by yourself in a strange country, Lisa!” Jennie’s voice rises in pitch as she speaks, and Lisa stares wide-eyed at her tone and the anxiety in it.

“I-I just… I couldn’t just ignore him, he knew me.” Lisa doesn’t like how defensive she sounds, but can’t help it.

“Which is an even bigger reason to ignore him!” Jennie exclaims. “Have you forgotten that we are public figures? He could have kidnapped you, or killed you or done God-knows-what!”

Startled and feeling like a scolded child, Lisa can’t help but respond.

“We are at a five-stars hotel Jennie, there are cameras all around and it’s not like any guy from the street can just walk in here. If he was on this floor then he must have a room here.” She justifies.

“Lisa, just because that guy has enough money to pay for a room here doesn’t mean you are any safer for it. Rich people are kidnappers and murderers too.” Jennie explains, struggling to keep her voice level and not snap further at the younger girl.

Lisa feels the fear and anxiety of the evening pilling up on her and it takes all she has not to keep arguing in anger or start crying. She takes a deep breath, avoiding Jennie’s worried face, and stares at one of the bland white walls so she can try to calm down. Jennie is right, Lisa doesn’t know that guy, he could have done anything to her, she just escaped a dangerous situation that could have culminated in Jennie being hurt as well. That man was built like a truck and if he had wanted to hurt her, there would have been nothing her or Jennie could have done to stop him.

But there’s something bitter at the back of her throat. The knowledge that Jennie has no idea the fear Lisa goes through every time her phone vibrates, with each message she receives, that it will be them, whoever it is that has been successfully stalking her for the past few months. She hasn’t told any of her members because her manager told her it’s better if they don’t know. Because the policeman she spoke with when she filled the paperwork necessary to get it investigated said it was probably not serious and she was well-protected enough it wouldn’t go further than phone-stalking.

So, with anger burning in her throat and fear souring her mouth, Lisa answers.

“You are the one who called me here.” Designed to dish back some of the frustration and hurt Lisa is feeling, her tone is accusing.

Silence. Lisa knows it was a mistake as soon as the words leave her mouth. Still, she looks at Jennie and says nothing. Even when the older girl’s face morphs from irritated and worried to startled and hurt. Lisa clenches her teeth against the apology that wants to come out.

“You are right. I put you in danger by asking you to come. I won’t do it again.” Jennie’s voice is tight, the hurt twinned in her words like a thread on a piece of cloth.

Lisa closes her eyes, resolve cracking as the anger leaks out of her.

“I’m sorry. I will be more careful. It wasn’t your fault.” She tells Jennie. Lisa expects the other girl to give her a hard time, because Lisa is in the wrong here. She made the decision to come just as much as Jennie asked her to, and neither of them could have imagined there was any danger in crossing a ten-meter distance in their hotel corridor at night. And perhaps there wasn’t any danger and Adam Campbell is exactly who he said he is.

Lisa can hear Jennie as she steps closer and can’t help the sigh of relief that escapes her when the brunette slides her arms around her, resting a chin on Lisa’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry I yelled. I’m probably making a fuss over nothing. We will meet that Adam guy again on Thursday and I will apologize for closing the door on his face.” Jennie takes a deep breath and kisses the side of Lisa’s face. “It’s not your fault either. Just… be careful, please?” Her ‘please’ is said with an impossibly soft, baby voice. It melts the remaining of Lisa’s frustration.

“I will. I promise.” She responds, just as tenderly. “You don’t have to worry so much about me.” Lisa adds.

Jennie pulls back, eyebrows raising yet again in a particular way that Lisa is, unfortunately, becoming familiar with, and she gets ready for another admonishment. But the older girl gentles her expression immediately when she sees Lisa’s face, the way she seems to not even be aware of how clueless her words are. How could Jennie possibly not worry about Lisa? When she’s this trusting, this vulnerable?

“I worry about the people I care about.” Jennie’s voice is quiet but clear. “And you are the person I care about the most.” She tightens her hold on Lisa. “So you better just get used to my worrying.”

Lisa doesn’t answer immediately, but her eyes are glistening when Jennie pulls back to see her better.

“Why were you up so late?” Lisa inquires, curious if not a little worried.

Jennie twirls a strand of Lisa’s hair with her finger, watching it with more interest than the action requires.

“I told you. I missed you.” She sighs, then leans in to press her lips lovingly against Lisa’s. “I couldn’t sleep by myself, and you were so close.” Jennie takes Lisa’s hand and pulls her towards the undone bed.

“We should get some sleep.” Jennie reminds her, pulling the covers aside for Lisa to slide under. “What about you?” She asks, fluffing her pillow with a few well-placed smacks, then laying on her side to give Lisa her full attention.

“I couldn’t fall asleep. I think I’m still in a rush from yesterday.” Not wanting to worry her girlfriend any further than she already has, Lisa decides to omit her nightmare.

Jennie hums in agreement. Lisa claps twice and the room’s light dims until it’s off.

“That’s very cool.” The youngest says, pleased by the convenience of clapping-controlled lights. “Good night, Jen.”

“Good night, my Lili.”

Jennie draws closer until she can wrap an arm around Lisa. Her well-smacked pillow is left behind and they share the one Lisa has instead. The maknae nearly touches noses with Jennie, she is so close. Lisa closes her eyes and does her best to try and relax her still slightly tense body, but is interrupted by lips touching against hers.

Jennie kisses Lisa slowly and sweetly. Unhurried and through. They kiss until both their minds slow down enough to allow for the tiredness of the day to catch up to them. Lisa’s fingers run through Jennie’s hair gently, making her whole body feel heavy with relaxation. The older girl caresses smooth fingers down Lisa’s arm, then up her back, under her shirt. Lisa shivers at the touch but soon loosens into the sheets as well. It’s comforting, the feeling of Lisa’s smooth warm skin under Jennie’s fingertips, her back expanding and deflating with each breath. Intertwined in one another, the young lovers fall asleep quicker than they thought they would, the transition as soft as walking through mist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was sitting on this one for a couple of days because I really wanted to update DKWTD first... but oh, well. I tend to overthink if I keep it to myself, so here you go, folks. Feedback is very much appreciated! Hope this can distract you all while we wait for October 2 ;)


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